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nihongoso

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nihongoso

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nihongoso's page activity

Visits<b>SerpentBoy</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 5:53pm

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nihongoso's favorite FMLs

Today, I came out as bisexual to my friends via group message. They didn't respond; I had a panic attack. An hour later, one of my friends texted back, "k". FML

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

#21280509
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33673) - you deserved it (12088)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my psycho mom walked in while I was chilling and having fun with some friends. She kicked them out and now wants to drug test me, because "Nobody's that happy without drugs". FML

#21280487
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37658) - you deserved it (2554)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was at a football game with my boyfriend. I said my hands were getting cold, hoping he'd hold them. He replied, "Uh, they make pockets for a reason..." and physically showed me how to put my hands in my pockets. FML

#21280399
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32533) - you deserved it (6497)

On 10/18/2014 at 10:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned that if you give a squirrel a cookie, he'll climb up your pants in search of more cookies. FML

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35260) - you deserved it (3720)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25691) - you deserved it (51400)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I discovered that I climax sooner if I think about pretzels. Yes, pretzels. The food product. I'll never be able to eat them again. FML

#21278160
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33671) - you deserved it (4522)

On 10/15/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by datgurllllukno (woman) - United States

Today, I got called to the guidance office, only to be told my boyfriend broke up with me. He wasn't sure how to break the news to me, so he made my guidance counselor do it for him. FML

#21277708
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41862) - you deserved it (2939)

On 10/14/2014 at 2:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

#21276776
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32655) - you deserved it (4513)

On 10/13/2014 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Drafrica (woman) - South Africa

Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML

#21276185
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32159) - you deserved it (3342)

On 10/12/2014 at 12:45pm - intimacy - by KO - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of three years, who can't get it up for me and has been blaming blood pressure issues, apparently has no problem getting it up while watching the neighbor undress from our window. FML

#21276105
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37432) - you deserved it (4160)

On 10/12/2014 at 9:21am - intimacy - by MotherMary - United States (Missouri)

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31290) - you deserved it (14378)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk dirty to my boyfriend, after he promised not to laugh at me. All seemed well, until I heard laughter. It wasn't him, though; it was his family listening from the other room. FML

#21275034
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36913) - you deserved it (5685)

On 10/10/2014 at 3:33pm - intimacy - by TalkDirtyToMe - New Zealand



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