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nihongoso's favorite FMLs
Today, my friends and I were going to Applebee's. A girl we don't like invited herself along. She waited for my friend outside of the bathroom, forced her to drive her, and said, "It's okay someone will pay for me." She then ate off of everyone's plate and left before the bill came. FML
by RUFckingSrs / 12/21/2015 at 9:42pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I received three big boxes from my mother in law, containing expensive cookware. I was puzzled, because I know that she hates me. Turns out she mailed them to us by mistake. Not only did she not get us anything, but I now have to pay to ship the boxes to her neighbor. FML
by bahhumbug / 12/21/2015 at 1:25pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally realized the toll working as a cashier 5 days a week during the holidays does to your psyche. I just said "Welcome To Walgreens", out of pure reflex, to my cat as she walked into my kitchen. FML
by Deweyboy / 12/21/2015 at 1:01pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 12/21/2015 at 9:56am / United States (Washington) / Love
by f4444 / 12/21/2015 at 12:38am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, I had fallen asleep in the back of a friend's car on the way home from a night out. When I woke up, they were in the middle of a full-on make out session. I had to pretend to be asleep for 20 minutes until they decided to "wake me up". FML
by mikmak / 12/20/2015 at 8:26am / United States (North Carolina) / Love
Today, it's been three months since i went to my GP for a swollen foot. She sent me to a rheumatologist, a pulmonologist, vein ultrasound, DNA testing and finally an X-ray, which revealed I've been walking around on a broken foot. By now, the two bones are grown together at weird angles, forever. FML
by DeeZeeMb / 12/20/2015 at 7:40am / Slovenia (Maribor Commune) / Health
by Anonymous / 12/20/2015 at 5:19am / United States (Missouri) / Work
by Anonymous / 12/20/2015 at 3:25am / Kids
Today, I bought a PS4 online for my boyfriend's birthday. I put it on our joint credit card through Paypal to keep it a surprise. The company decided to ruin that surprise when they called him to confirm the transaction. FML
by Sonata90 / 12/20/2015 at 1:36am / Canada (Newfoundland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I spent the only money I had left for lunch only to take two bites before a seagull snatched my burger from my hands. I had to shamefully start walking back to work with a pair of girls laughing at me and an empty stomach. FML
by shibs / 12/19/2015 at 9:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals
by Moth_Balled / 12/14/2015 at 11:50pm / Australia / Intimacy
by pampa31 / 12/14/2015 at 12:21pm / Mexico (Baja California) / Transportation
by Haitwun / 12/14/2015 at 2:29am / United States (California) / Love
by ehcanadianeh / 12/13/2015 at 3:04pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
- Today, my girlfriend and I were in bed. She slipped her hand under the duvet, and I got all excited… Today, I just had a phone interview with a college. The lady asked me to spell out my password to a… Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML