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nightbirdblue

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nightbirdblue

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 May 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4483
  • Number of comments : 283
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About nightbirdblue : Kitten ears?

nightbirdblue's page activity

Visits<b>DArthurVaderian</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 6:11pm<b>Starzak</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 3:54pm<b>QD</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 4:44am<b>isuckwithnames</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 12:26pm<b>fvt</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 6:41am<b>Crofty92</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 2:56am<b>VeganVampyre</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 8:25am<b>Will21</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 4:02pm<b>starsierra</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 10:57am<b>kayse</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 7:08pm<b>fu7127</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:59am<b>adrianvons</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 4:04am<b>weirdangelz2</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 3:29pm<b>lexa1love</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 2:17pm<b>Gestpacho88</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 1:22am<b>EchoSerenity</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 2:05pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 5:15pm<b>jomoma69</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 8:58am

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An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

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nightbirdblue's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML

#21166299
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47099) - you deserved it (4774)

On 06/07/2014 at 5:16pm - health - by wish his dad had worn one (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I took some heavy pain medication before calling my boyfriend. I don't remember the call, but apparently confessed to really liking corn, and faking orgasms. FML

#21165912
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42503) - you deserved it (13031)

On 06/07/2014 at 9:31am - intimacy - by Screwed (woman) - Australia

Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML

#21164043
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52794) - you deserved it (3838)

On 06/05/2014 at 4:05pm - kids - by bastards (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

#21155508
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58974) - you deserved it (4559)

On 05/29/2014 at 2:46am - animals - by Idk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML

#21154464
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46610) - you deserved it (5592)

On 05/28/2014 at 10:21am - love - by needanotherbed - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML

#21153496
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47862) - you deserved it (5027)

On 05/27/2014 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my parents thought it would be a great surprise to accidentally shoot me in the leg for my birthday. FML

#21152462
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47493) - you deserved it (4551)

On 05/26/2014 at 5:18pm - misc - by Birthday Surprise - United States (Georgia)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

#21152151
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46360) - you deserved it (6406)

On 05/26/2014 at 11:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML

#21152005
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45858) - you deserved it (5299)

On 05/26/2014 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, I saw the script for the end of year assembly skit I'm forced to participate in. Looks like on my last day of high school, I'll be running around in a rainbow unicorn costume in front of my entire high school and their parents. FML

Today, thanks to my phone's shitty predictive text combined with me being half-asleep, I accidentally offered my heartbroken buddy "oral support" if he ever needs it. FML

#21151390
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45277) - you deserved it (8828)

On 05/25/2014 at 5:23pm - intimacy - by whoops (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, the previously charming guy I've been seeing for the past two weeks tried to introduce a weekly sex quota into our relationship. FML

#21151208
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36264) - you deserved it (5969)

On 05/25/2014 at 1:46pm - love - by aww, such a nice guy. NOT (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my mother-in-law came over for dinner. She decided to salt the food I was preparing without even tasting it first, then complained at dinner that I'd used too much salt. She then lectured me on the proper seasoning of food for the rest of the evening. FML

#21150425
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44506) - you deserved it (3705)

On 05/24/2014 at 5:20pm - misc - by NaCl - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my friend started his first day of work with me. I thought it'd be fun, but he's been putting on an obnoxious fake French accent and saying "merde" whenever anything goes wrong. Half the women at the office want his dick, and I'm still as single as ever. FML

#21150394
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42445) - you deserved it (5461)

On 05/24/2014 at 4:44pm - work - by thankssiren (man) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, my boyfriend told me that the girl he really likes sees me as a threat. FML

#21149888
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47756) - you deserved it (4607)

On 05/24/2014 at 2:14am - love - by SE011194 - United States (Georgia)



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