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About nightbirdblue : I had some great statement to say about FML earlier, but i forgot it.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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Yesterday, I Met Mah Boyfriend's Best Friend. She Was A Girl He's Known For Years, And I Respected That. She Was Sweet, Until Mah Boyfriend Went To The Bathroom And She Threatened To Stab Me If I Don't Leave Him. He Doesn't Believe Me, And Accused Me Of Having Serious Jealousy Issues. FML
yesterday a customer tried to order a Zinger burger. I tried to explain that he was at McDonald an that the Zinger is a KFC burger. He accused me of lying to him an tried to report me to my manager. real FML
Today, my dad was looking for a flashlight in my bedroom. He trashed the place, which I'd just cleaned. Turns out the flashlight was in his bedroom. Then I got a 10 minute lecture on how I was such a slob and I should take more care of my bedroom.
2day my dad was fixing my wardrobe an pushd too hard, causing stuff to fall from the top shelves. I saw it happen with my own eyes, but he's dead-set convincd that it was some kind of poltergiest fucking with him, an now he doesn't want me to go in my room. fat FML
yesterday I'm a ticket inspector on a train. A suspiciously-acting guy of about 30 gets on board with two huge bags. Worried... I keep an eye on him. I wasn't disappointed when he got 5 furry toys out of his bags and started to have a conversation with them. FML
Today, I dreamed that I cheated on mah boyfriend. I was so overwhelmed with guilt that I called him while half-asleep to tell him about it an apologize. I'm fully awake now an he doesn't believe it was really a dream. fat FML
yesterday I was walking with a female friend when suddenly , my ex-grlfriend comes running down the street and says , ( So , your cheating on me with this slut , huh?! ) We've been separated 4 a decade now. FML
Today, I was cuddling ma grlfriend. Te TV was on biend me, wit some kind of grl's basketball game playing. Wen I stared into ma grlfriend's eyes, se accused me of trying to ceck out te grls by looking at tier reflection in er eyes. fat FML
TODAY... MY GRLFRIEND GAVE ME MY FRST HANDJOB. I WAS NERVOUS... SOHEN SHE WENT TO DO IT... I PANICKD AND YELLD... "FRMLY GRASP IT!" SHE THEN COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING CUZ IT WAS A LINE FROM SPONGEBOB. FML
Today, both my female flatmate and my gay male flatmate have got their boyfriends round . They've both stuck 'Do Not Disturb' signs on their bedroom doors and r both playing musichich doesn't quite muffle the sounds of wat they're up to . I haven't had a date in over six months . FML
Friday 27 March 2015