About nightbirdblue : I had some great statement to say about FML earlier, but i forgot it.
nightbirdblue's FML badges
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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nightbirdblue's favorite FMLs
by looking4newvenue / 02/23/2015 at 3:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Wutdafuqq / 02/23/2015 at 3:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, away at college, I called my grandmother to hear how she was doing after her knee surgery. She ended up talking about Hooters and how I should work there because of my "rare body". When I mentioned I've been studying computer science, earning a 3.8 GPA, she replied, "But you're a girl." FML
by Anonymous / 02/23/2015 at 2:45am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to go all-natural and go to work without any makeup on. My boss swore I was on drugs, which I guess had absolutely nothing to do with the completely "random" drug test I had to take later in the day. FML
by Anonymous / 02/22/2015 at 1:52pm / Malta / Health
by HaliMali / 02/22/2015 at 1:21pm / United States (New York) / Money
Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML
Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML
by tulisa / 02/20/2015 at 11:25pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
by Anonymous / 02/15/2015 at 10:25pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, while working at Subway I joked with a customer asking him if he was going to order in Spanish. The women in front of him began yelling about how I was being racist and told my manager that I needed to be fired. The customer I was joking with was my Spanish teacher. FML
by anonymous / 02/15/2015 at 5:39pm / United States (Georgia) / Work
Today, my girlfriend wanted to roleplay as a schoolgirl. I was excited, until we started and she asked me to lick her "vajayjay". I cringed so hard, my skull practically caved in. I broke down laughing while trying to explain my cringing. Now she's pissed and I'm blue-balled. FML
by Anonymous / 02/14/2015 at 12:47pm / Ireland / Intimacy
Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML
by Anonymous / 02/13/2015 at 3:24pm / Miscellaneous
Today, as a reward for finishing all my work in maths, I was told I could leave early. Apparently, later on, the class had a random attendance inspection. I didn't know about this until I received a detention for not being present at that class. My teacher had completely forgotten about me. FML
by lizzie57 / 02/13/2015 at 7:09am / United Kingdom / Work
Today, my boyfriend threw a fit because I "still" live with my mother at age 30. I bought her an apartment in my building and hired a live-in nurse because she is senile and permanently bedridden. FML
by Anonymous / 02/12/2015 at 11:50am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Miscellaneous
by SDCore / 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…