Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nightbirdblue

Offline (yesterday at 1:19pm) | Search for a member

nightbirdblue

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Pittsburgh, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 May 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11660
  • Number of comments : 317
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 35 posted

About nightbirdblue : I had some great statement to say about FML earlier, but i forgot it.

nightbirdblue's page activity

Visits<b>zeusdom</b> - 23 hours ago<b>mikehomza30</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 3:26pm<b>Cringey</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 1:53pm<b>toma1945</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 5:13pm<b>KingCeeJay</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 10:33pm<b>Jenn_Ohio</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 2:05pm<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 6:56pm<b>Morticia_Addams</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 9:27am<b>cdncw</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 5:49pm<b>kukumber</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 3:45pm<b>madi113</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:19am<b>Fou_Lou</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 6:40am<b>Railworker12</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 7:42am<b>iG_08</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 5:26am<b>dekomori</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 4:21am<b>AWildNoeAppeared</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 12:54pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 2:51am<b>Raptor73242</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 9:01am

Fucked!<b>cdncw</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 11:49pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 12:43am<b>TheBadAndGnarly</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 8:08pm

nightbirdblue's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of nightbirdblue's badges

nightbirdblue's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that my fiancé consistently thinks about his fear of breaking his penis while we have sex. He's afraid to have sex with me. FML

#21366308
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31263) - you deserved it (2582)

On 03/02/2015 at 12:14am - intimacy - by dickofbrokendreams - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was turned down from the dream job that I was promised two years ago, once my chemo and radiation therapy was finished. His excuse? He never actually expected me to survive. FML

#21366066
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45984) - you deserved it (2113)

On 03/01/2015 at 6:36pm - work - by kysier (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I moved to a big city, alone, from a small town. After convincing myself it wasn't that scary, I hailed my first cab. The driver spent the 30 minute ride from the airport telling me about how "sometimes, you just gotta shoot a guy" because if they steal your shoes, they deserve it. FML

#21366058
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28040) - you deserved it (2489)

On 03/01/2015 at 6:22pm - misc - by smalltownkid - United States (Texas)

Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML

#21365913
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31271) - you deserved it (6497)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by love and tolerape, apparently (man) - India (Jharkhand)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for another girl, via a text message ending with "No hard feelings. Well xcept 4 my cock obvs. ;)" Fuck you, Rick. FML

#21365892
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34260) - you deserved it (2587)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18779) - you deserved it (55548)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, the girl I've been seeing for just over a week casually let me know that she'll slash her wrists if I ever leave her. FML

#21365201
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33962) - you deserved it (2809)

On 02/28/2015 at 11:23am - love - by great (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother confused the terms 'necromancy' and 'necrophilia'. We had a great talk about why you shouldn't have sex with dead people. FML

#21364935
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25957) - you deserved it (2359)

On 02/27/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by bobjope -

Today, I saw my grandma had registered on Facebook, so I wrote a welcome post on her wall. She replied "Delete." several times, then called me, accusing me of "hacking" her and demanding that I remove my name from her page at once. FML

#21364671
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29769) - you deserved it (2669)

On 02/27/2015 at 3:20pm - misc - by Y_Y (man) - United States

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

#21364648
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29887) - you deserved it (3175)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I won a pool game against some guy. His friends started mocking him for getting his ass whooped by a pregnant girl who couldn't even lean over the table. He got mad, swung his pool stick at them, missed, and hit me right in the face. FML

#21364532
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107) - you deserved it (2439)

On 02/27/2015 at 10:29am - misc - by MCForty (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up because we got into a fight over what color that confusing black and blue and white and gold dress was. FML

#21364239
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31729) - you deserved it (63)

On 02/26/2015 at 10:07pm - love - by confused - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boss used Siri to settle a debate we were having in our team meeting. Siri responded by calling him "Daddy". FML

Today, I was given my yearly evaluation as a cake decorator at Walmart. They said I "was easily the best decorator there" and "the bakery has definitely improved since I got there." In the same conversation they put "unsatisfactory" on my evaluation and denied my raise. FML

Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML

#21363021
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28544) - you deserved it (3073)

On 02/24/2015 at 11:33pm - animals - by Sarah1330 (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: