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nightbirdblue

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nightbirdblue
  • Town/Country : Anvil, United States of America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2262
  • Number of comments : 267
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About nightbirdblue : D E S C R I P T I O N

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An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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nightbirdblue's favorite FMLs

Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML

#21107739
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44511) - you deserved it (3134)

On 04/08/2014 at 4:13pm - kids - by vreenya (woman) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, after months of being on anti-depression medication and feeling very little emotionally, I finally felt some joy. Sadly it was from completely crushing my husband in an argument he started, where he claimed ketchup is a vegetable. FML

#21107568
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33973) - you deserved it (3971)

On 04/08/2014 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Veneto)

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

#21107421
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40575) - you deserved it (5722)

On 04/08/2014 at 3:56am - misc - by the long distance guy - United States (Connecticut)

Today, at the café I work at, I was yelled at by a woman because the drinks and food she ordered were "taking too long". Before I had the chance to get a word in, she stormed out and said she would never come back. I didn't get the chance to inform her that she hadn't ordered yet. FML

#21106207
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40825) - you deserved it (2711)

On 04/06/2014 at 8:20pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I witnessed my psycho neighbor put her cat in a cage, cross into my backyard, and set the cage down before returning to her house. She then called the cops and claimed I'd stolen her cat. The cops didn't believe my side of the story for a second. FML

#21106030
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42295) - you deserved it (2573)

On 04/06/2014 at 3:37pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I found out that my three closest online friends are the same person: my obsessive ex. I met all three before he and I even started dating. FML

#21105963
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37968) - you deserved it (4818)

On 04/06/2014 at 2:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having my birthday party. My dad showed up late, blind drunk, and drove his car straight through my garage door. FML

#21105340
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38893) - you deserved it (2756)

On 04/05/2014 at 6:04pm - misc - by as-salamu alaykum, motherfucker - United Kingdom (Wirral)

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML

#21104650
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35803) - you deserved it (10177)

On 04/04/2014 at 7:20pm - love - by ohai ur hawt, wanna fuzzzZzZZzzZzz (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, my mom visited, and I left her for a few minutes while I used the bathroom. While I was stuck taking a crap, she went on one of her religious rants, telling my children that Easter was off this year because their precious "pagan" Easter Bunny had been murdered. FML

#21104621
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33611) - you deserved it (3184)

On 04/04/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by kaheera4 (woman) - United States

Today, I got up early in the morning to get a snack, only to walk in on my "vegan" housemate eating a turkey sandwich. This bastard harasses me every other day about my meat-eating, but all he could do after he noticed me was drop the sandwich and claim he'd been sleepwalking. FML

#21104594
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36401) - you deserved it (2721)

On 04/04/2014 at 6:07pm - misc - by fuck you with a bacon cock (man) - United Kingdom (Moray)

Today, I went to the store to buy a phone I saw last week. I looked around a little first, then continued to the electronics section. I couldn't find the phone I saw, so I went to leave. Halfway to the exit, I was detained by security and grilled for ages over my "suspicious behaviour". FML

#21104459
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33005) - you deserved it (2909)

On 04/04/2014 at 3:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's the last day of my sign language class. At the end of the class, my teacher surprised us by speaking for the first time, also surprising everyone that she wasn't actually deaf. It wouldn't have been so bad had I not just given someone an answer to the test, thinking she couldn't hear me. FML

Today, I woke up again to a warm trickling sensation on my neck. It would seem my rabbit has a thing for doing his business on me to wake me up. FML

#21103637
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33709) - you deserved it (6350)

On 04/03/2014 at 12:36pm - animals - by Cali girl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother is coming over to my family's house to stay for about a week or so. Apparently, the guest room window isn't big enough for her dream catcher, so she wants her cat to sleep in the guest room and she wants to sleep in my room. My parents support this. FML

#21103236
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39190) - you deserved it (3102)

On 04/02/2014 at 10:25pm - misc - by themonesterman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, the girl I've been dating for two weeks brought up the topic of marriage, then started asking me when we're moving in together. FML

#21102998
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42568) - you deserved it (5358)

On 04/02/2014 at 5:22pm - love - by fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuc (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)



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