Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nightbirdblue

Offline (10 hours ago) | Search for a member

nightbirdblue

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 May 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4158
  • Number of comments : 281
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About nightbirdblue : Kitten ears?

nightbirdblue's page activity

Visits<b>fvt</b> - yesterday at 6:41am<b>Crofty92</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 2:56am<b>VeganVampyre</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 8:25am<b>Will21</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 4:02pm<b>starsierra</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 10:57am<b>kayse</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 7:08pm<b>fu7127</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:59am<b>adrianvons</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 4:04am<b>weirdangelz2</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 3:29pm<b>lexa1love</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 2:17pm<b>Gestpacho88</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 1:22am<b>EchoSerenity</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 2:05pm<b>SevanaRatchet</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 3:14pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 5:15pm<b>jomoma69</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 8:58am<b>WaxenSecrets</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 5:51pm<b>WolfieJL</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 8:08pm<b>Axipiter</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 12:35am

nightbirdblue's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of nightbirdblue's badges

nightbirdblue's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my sister stole my phone, pretended to be me, and tried breaking up with my boyfriend. FML

#21221072
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44163) - you deserved it (4011)

On 07/26/2014 at 11:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I held the door open for a woman and her kids on my way out of the bank. She started accusing me of patronizing her, and when I just let go of the door in protest, she deliberately leaned in so it hit her in the face. I felt the glares from the entire bank as she pretended to cry. FML

#21220355
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45500) - you deserved it (3423)

On 07/25/2014 at 2:16pm - misc - by notadoorman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I got in a minor car accident because my mom had to check how many likes her last photo on Instagram had while driving. FML

#21217675
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39618) - you deserved it (3339)

On 07/22/2014 at 8:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

#21217074
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40031) - you deserved it (6564)

On 07/22/2014 at 4:44am - love - by and the truth comes out (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

#21212869
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66508) - you deserved it (4877)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm - love - by someonepleasehelpme (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had my third date with a lovely guy. After I got home, I figured I'd try to see if I could find his Facebook profile. I did. His pictures were nice; lovely wedding photos for sure, and his newborn baby is adorable. FML

#21207995
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54402) - you deserved it (4408)

On 07/13/2014 at 2:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

#21207892
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40464) - you deserved it (5798)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56094) - you deserved it (7159)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my brother decided to help me artificially age some of my artwork by singeing the edges slightly. Apparently "my brother set fire to my homework" isn't a valid excuse. FML

#21206966
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38383) - you deserved it (5694)

On 07/12/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50478) - you deserved it (6616)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML

#21205080
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49009) - you deserved it (4731)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to the public library for the first time ever. The librarian told me I couldn't get a library card because I had an outstanding balance of $130.00 from 1995. I was born in 1991. FML

#21204670
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46645) - you deserved it (3972)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:27am - misc - by library book - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss delivered some flowers and a sympathy card signed by everyone in the office to my cubicle. The card said, "Sorry your mom died". My mom isn't dead. I don't know where they got the idea from and no one believes me. They said that denial is part of grieving. FML

#21204205
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43651) - you deserved it (3077)

On 07/09/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by ninnang - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my road rage got so out of hand that I'm now actually inclined to honk obnoxiously at my computer when it's being slow. FML

#21204164
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28818) - you deserved it (14883)

On 07/09/2014 at 4:49pm - health - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: