About nightbirdblue : I had some great statement to say about FML earlier, but i forgot it.
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nightbirdblue's favorite FMLs
Today, a new employee started at our office. She's about 18, barely does any work, chews gum loudly, has no manners, and happens to sit right next to me. She also threatens to report me for harassment whenever I politely ask her to not bash my chair with the back of her chair. FML
by Anonymous / 05/20/2015 at 12:17pm / Cyprus (Paphos) / Work
Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML
by wtf bro / 05/20/2015 at 4:45am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Intimacy
Today, in my film class, we were watching Schindler's List. At least, we tried. The moron next to me kept interrupting the most intense scenes with a very loud, "I don't get it." Not only did she break the focus of the class, but we had to keep stopping the movie to explain it to her. FML
by Anonymous / 05/19/2015 at 3:53pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by SOTS4335 / 05/16/2015 at 6:16pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous
by hendrixisgod86 / 05/15/2015 at 2:48pm / United States (Florida) / Transportation
Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML
by sistertaxi / 05/14/2015 at 10:23am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML
by HiddlePuff / 05/14/2015 at 8:42am / Australia / Work
Today, I got a friend request on Facebook. It's from the person who crashed into my car earlier in the month. It's funny that she doesn't return my calls or messages, but liked my status about the accident. FML
by iamgodzilla / 05/13/2015 at 10:55pm / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, I went to work at my job as a CNA at a long-term care facility. I'm also on a medication that has a side effect of confusion. I had 3 residents with Alzheimer's tell me to 'get my shit together.' FML
by Basically_ / 05/11/2015 at 5:24pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by Anonymous / 05/11/2015 at 2:59am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my drunken mother shouted to me at the top of her lungs, "All men are fucking assholes, and your new husband is no different!" during our wedding reception. All he did was ask her how she liked the salmon. FML
by How's the salmon? / 05/10/2015 at 2:00am / United States / Miscellaneous
by sarahmaxine / 05/09/2015 at 12:10am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/08/2015 at 11:31pm / United States / Work
Today, I spent nearly two hours listening to our cleaning lady talking about her son's infected penis, her fear of dentists, how to catch and kill ducks, her husband's childhood and her supposedly murdered dog. She ended up crying and left without cleaning. FML
by Martine624 / 05/07/2015 at 5:56pm / Netherlands / Miscellaneous
by Random737193 / 05/07/2015 at 3:52pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of…