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nightbirdblue

Offline (19 hours ago) | Search for a member

nightbirdblue

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 May 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6371
  • Number of comments : 298
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 33 posted

About nightbirdblue : Kitten ears?

nightbirdblue's page activity

Visits<b>kaet</b> - 50 minutes ago<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 9:58pm<b>Sara95</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 9:39pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 6:43pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 6:39pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 12:42am<b>omgwhattt</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 1:07am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 3:41pm<b>swarm20</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 2:03am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 11:59pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 10:53pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 3:23am<b>TheBadAndGnarly</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 2:08pm<b>robsmit98</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 3:37am<b>Rozza17</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 2:32am<b>Pesticides</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 10:51pm<b>mahovalia</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 5:54pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 5:04pm

Liked!<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 12:43am<b>TheBadAndGnarly</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 8:08pm

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An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

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nightbirdblue's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband sent me a link to an article titled "5 ways you are unknowingly destroying your husband and killing your marriage." FML

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

#21315008
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32470) - you deserved it (3203)

On 12/10/2014 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by unlovedandunfucked (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mom texted me and asked what I was up to. In response, I joked, "Dancing on the dining room table, waving dad's Calvin Klein's in the air, and shooting bullets into her bedroom floor." Not only did the cops show up, but now I'm grounded for two weeks for being, "deceptively believable." FML

#21314000
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31174) - you deserved it (5340)

On 12/08/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by #goodbyelife - United States

Today, my mother has issued a 'Christmas Ultimatum'. The rest of us have exactly 2 days to "get some Christmas around here" or we will feel her wrath. FML

#21313942
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24276) - you deserved it (3632)

On 12/08/2014 at 6:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to find that I had slept through my house getting robbed. FML

#21313515
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30433) - you deserved it (3661)

On 12/08/2014 at 12:03am - misc - by BedazzledAlpaca (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a long, philosophical explanation about how he doesn't love me, but we should still have sex. FML

#21313490
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31701) - you deserved it (2703)

On 12/07/2014 at 11:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

#21313211
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36531) - you deserved it (3595)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I performed the Heimlich maneuver on a man. He cussed me out because the piece of food he was choking on was "a perfectly good portion of lobster". FML

Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. She was so excited that she had a severe asthma attack and ended up in hospital. Her answer was yes, but her parents won't let me anywhere near her now. They say I'm lucky they haven't sued me for "trying to kill her". FML

#21312768
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38307) - you deserved it (2230)

On 12/06/2014 at 7:56pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out why my wife has been cold and distant lately. She went to a psycho fraudster - sorry, I mean "psychic medium" - who said I'm lusting after other women and am thinking about leaving her. She actually believed him. Now I'm considering leaving her for real. Well played, I guess. FML

#21312671
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31020) - you deserved it (2960)

On 12/06/2014 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium

Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML

#21312305
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32267) - you deserved it (3018)

On 12/06/2014 at 12:18am - work - by ring-a-ding-ding (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went to dinner at my parents' house. I was going to surprise them by introducing them to my new boyfriend. They decided to surprise me too, by inviting my ex to the dinner. Everyone was surprised tonight. FML

#21312253
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34028) - you deserved it (2468)

On 12/05/2014 at 10:35pm - love - by Michelle - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house to break up with him. When I got there, I got sent on a scavenger hunt that ended with him proposing to me. FML

#21312092
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35504) - you deserved it (5857)

On 12/05/2014 at 4:13pm - love - by hh - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML

#21311570
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35061) - you deserved it (5351)

On 12/04/2014 at 6:46pm - kids - by aprouddaddy - Sent from mobile version



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