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Offline (the 03/09/2015 at 11:11pm) | Search for a member
About nightbirdblue : I had some great statement to say about FML earlier, but i forgot it.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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Today, After Seven People At Work Approaching Me And Asking Me If I Was 'that Lad From The Paper', I Picked One Up To See Wat They Were Talking About . Turns Out Mah Doppelganger Is A Man Who Brutally Murdered His Older Brother Last Year . Mega FML
2day I noticed that mah son was less excited about loosing a tooth than normal. I asked him wat was wrong, he said, ( Tyler told me that the tooth fairy died yesterday in a car accident. ) Tohich Tyler replied, ( You're welcome. ) FML
YESTERDAY, WHILE WALKING OUT OF A STORE EATING A CANDY BAR, A HOMELESS MAN TRIED TO RUN UP AND STEAL CANDY . I STUCK A LEG OUT AND TRIPPED HIM . THE ONLY THING I COULD THINK OF TO YELL AT HIM WAS, "SWIPER NO SWIPING" . MY KIDS HAVE RUINED COOLNESS . FML
yesterday my ex gave me a heartwarming speech about how much he wanted me back . After talking for hours and me finally wanting to get back together too, he started mentioning a date he has with a cute colleague . Conclusion: he wants to get back together, but still be able to fuck the entire world . real FML
I moved to a big city , alone , from a small town. After convincing myself it wasn't tat scary , I ailed first cab. Te driver spent te 30 minute ride from te airport telling me about ow ( sometimes , u just gotta soot a guy ) cuz if tey steal yur soes , tey deserve it. FML
TODAY, AFTER A 7 YEAR DRY SPELL, I FINALLY GOT LAID. THE DOWNSIDE? IT WAS IN MAH DREAM AND INVOLVD A CHARACTER FROM MY LITTLE PONY FORCING ITSELF ON ME. NOW I HATE THAT FUCKING STUPID SHOW MORE THAN EVER. FML
Today, while cleaning mah son's room, I found an envelope labelled ( PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL ) under his bed. I opened it, only to fine it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said ( HAH! Serve you right! ) an went to his room smrking. FML
Taday I saw mah grandma had registered on Facebook, so I wrote a welcome post on her wall. She replied "Delete." several times, then called me, accusing me of "hacking" her and demanding that I remove mah name from her page at once.
Friday 27 March 2015