Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nightbirdblue

Online | Search for a member

nightbirdblue

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 May 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5741
  • Number of comments : 291
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 31 posted

About nightbirdblue : Kitten ears?

nightbirdblue's page activity

Visits<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 3:41pm<b>swarm20</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 2:03am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 11:59pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 10:53pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 3:23am<b>TheBadAndGnarly</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 2:08pm<b>robsmit98</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 3:37am<b>Rozza17</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 2:32am<b>Pesticides</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 10:51pm<b>mahovalia</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 5:54pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 5:04pm<b>ECraine</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 5:39pm<b>imdone2008</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 10:02pm<b>TheOnlyKittyKat</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 12:15am<b>cinskeep43</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 3:31pm<b>flufee2</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 10:21pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 10:26am<b>DArthurVaderian</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 6:11pm

Liked!<b>TheBadAndGnarly</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 8:08pm

nightbirdblue's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of nightbirdblue's badges

nightbirdblue's favorite FMLs

Today, I helped a very large elderly man, who thanked me and tried to hand me a dollar bill. I kindly told him, "We are not allowed to accept tips from customers." His reply was, "You're going to take this fucking money," and shoved it in my pocket. I'm now being written up for it. FML

#21304848
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27916) - you deserved it (2201)

On 11/23/2014 at 10:48pm - work - by justinmdent - United States (Missouri)

Today, I have to deal with being laughed at by my mother and sister, because they keep making sharp movements towards me, causing me to flinch. This is because I got mugged and beaten last night. They think it's hysterical. FML

#21304446
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37997) - you deserved it (2345)

On 11/23/2014 at 12:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

#21304429
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30447) - you deserved it (3706)

On 11/23/2014 at 11:34am - intimacy - by 404: fuck not given (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my son trained his little sister to walk up to strangers and whimper: "My mommy punches me." FML

#21303913
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27448) - you deserved it (2145)

On 11/22/2014 at 1:37pm - kids - by uterurist (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML

#21303901
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32848) - you deserved it (3939)

On 11/22/2014 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Kilkenny)

Today, I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter and my very pregnant cat. I left the room briefly, only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave birth in front of her. FML

#21303819
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29393) - you deserved it (3519)

On 11/22/2014 at 10:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I learned that if life gives you lemons, your sister is going to squeeze them over your face while you take a nap on the couch. FML

#21303546
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25341) - you deserved it (1901)

On 11/21/2014 at 9:00pm - misc - by ShutUp007 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I asked my dad if he thought my dress was nice, and if guys would go for me. He replied, "Shit, depends on how drunk they are." FML

#21303377
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29614) - you deserved it (3973)

On 11/21/2014 at 3:07pm - misc - by Veronica - United States (California)

Today, the girl I'd been dating online for 6 months told me she was a guy. I said it was alright, and that I was still in love. Then she confessed she really was a girl, and was just trying to make me dump her so she wouldn't be the "bad guy". FML

#21303306
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33046) - you deserved it (6239)

On 11/21/2014 at 1:18pm - love - by Recluse (man) -

Today, my co-worker threw a rubber mallet at my face, and I broke my finger in the process of saving my face. She then told me to "take it up with HR, bitch". She's the HR manager. FML

#21302927
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30532) - you deserved it (2283)

On 11/20/2014 at 7:29pm - work - by spreadburger - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss said he's worried about our network, because "Wifi's all in the air. People could spy on us from anywhere!" I sarcastically said "My god, you're right!" and suggested switching to tin-foil ethernet cables to stop the signal escaping. He told me to do it ASAP. This moron makes five times my salary. FML

#21302784
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30665) - you deserved it (3491)

On 11/20/2014 at 3:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML

#21302695
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27825) - you deserved it (2237)

On 11/20/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after realizing my flashcards had fallen out of my binder, I asked my teacher if I could quickly go to my locker to get them. She said no and told me to go sit down. As soon as class ended, I went to my locker and brought them to her. Her response? "Why didn't you ask me to get these during class?" FML

#21301020
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33621) - you deserved it (2278)

On 11/17/2014 at 10:10pm - work - by ohgosh... (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

#21300835
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27301) - you deserved it (3123)

On 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had to endure my father going on a sexist rant about how women shouldn't be allowed to go to university because it's "unrealistic" since "all women" become stay-at-home mums. This is the same man who threatened to kick me out if I dropped out of uni. FML

#21299878
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30310) - you deserved it (2393)

On 11/15/2014 at 10:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: