Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nightbirdblue

Search for a member

nightbirdblue

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 May 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3691
  • Number of comments : 275
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About nightbirdblue : Kitten ears?

nightbirdblue's page activity

Visits<b>kayse</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 7:08pm<b>fu7127</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:59am<b>adrianvons</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 4:04am<b>weirdangelz2</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 3:29pm<b>lexa1love</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 2:17pm<b>Gestpacho88</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 1:22am<b>EchoSerenity</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 2:05pm<b>SevanaRatchet</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 3:14pm<b>fvt</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 4:38am<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 5:15pm<b>jomoma69</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 8:58am<b>WaxenSecrets</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 5:51pm<b>WolfieJL</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 8:08pm<b>Axipiter</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 12:35am<b>SavannahSunshine</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 3:21am<b>saocrates</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 12:57pm<b>cnparks1990</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 5:48pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 2:16pm

nightbirdblue's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of nightbirdblue's badges

nightbirdblue's favorite FMLs

Today, I got in a minor car accident because my mom had to check how many likes her last photo on Instagram had while driving. FML

#21217675
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27393) - you deserved it (2316)

On 07/22/2014 at 8:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

#21217074
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32085) - you deserved it (5230)

On 07/22/2014 at 4:44am - love - by and the truth comes out (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

#21212869
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59021) - you deserved it (4591)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm - love - by someonepleasehelpme (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had my third date with a lovely guy. After I got home, I figured I'd try to see if I could find his Facebook profile. I did. His pictures were nice; lovely wedding photos for sure, and his newborn baby is adorable. FML

#21207995
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51410) - you deserved it (4335)

On 07/13/2014 at 2:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

#21207892
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39119) - you deserved it (5728)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50289) - you deserved it (6437)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my brother decided to help me artificially age some of my artwork by singeing the edges slightly. Apparently "my brother set fire to my homework" isn't a valid excuse. FML

#21206966
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37462) - you deserved it (5650)

On 07/12/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48489) - you deserved it (6512)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML

#21205080
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47378) - you deserved it (4680)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to the public library for the first time ever. The librarian told me I couldn't get a library card because I had an outstanding balance of $130.00 from 1995. I was born in 1991. FML

#21204670
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45799) - you deserved it (3954)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:27am - misc - by library book - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss delivered some flowers and a sympathy card signed by everyone in the office to my cubicle. The card said, "Sorry your mom died". My mom isn't dead. I don't know where they got the idea from and no one believes me. They said that denial is part of grieving. FML

#21204205
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42723) - you deserved it (3048)

On 07/09/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by ninnang - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my road rage got so out of hand that I'm now actually inclined to honk obnoxiously at my computer when it's being slow. FML

#21204164
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28410) - you deserved it (14713)

On 07/09/2014 at 4:49pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a grown man yelled at me because he'd been waiting for 15 minutes and still hadn't been seated or had his order taken. We were at a self-serve breakfast buffet. FML

#21203953
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42563) - you deserved it (3514)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:54pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML

#21203542
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41741) - you deserved it (3364)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:24am - work - by HowAreYouAlive - United States (Virginia)

Today, I discovered that my best friend has been telling everyone at our workplace that I'm faking my pregnancy for attention. She was at every single one of my ultrasounds. FML

#21203309
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44489) - you deserved it (3330)

On 07/08/2014 at 9:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: