Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nightbirdblue

Online | Search for a member

nightbirdblue

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 May 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7364
  • Number of comments : 309
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 34 posted

About nightbirdblue : Kitten ears?

nightbirdblue's page activity

Visits<b>triplebeerox</b> - yesterday at 5:12am<b>icnburbbygrl</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 2:41am<b>Ikashy73</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 11:11pm<b>sonshadsil94</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 10:47am<b>possesedbanans</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 9:00am<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 6:32am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 1:21pm<b>Viscouz</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 9:12am<b>expertsmilee</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 3:40am<b>tbro47</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 9:23pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 8:17pm<b>plan_Z</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 7:54pm<b>kaet</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 1:02pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 9:58pm<b>Sara95</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 9:39pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 6:43pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 6:39pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 12:42am

Liked!<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 12:43am<b>TheBadAndGnarly</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 8:08pm

nightbirdblue's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of nightbirdblue's badges

nightbirdblue's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. In the middle of it he said, "I want us to be covalent bonds". I didn't understand what he meant, and he actually stopped to explain it to me. FML

#21346746
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8132) - you deserved it (2157)

On 01/30/2015 at 10:11am - intimacy - by Chemist-why (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I received a panicked email from one of my university students on my course on Russian history, stating that he'd "always thought Stalin was fake, like the moon landing". FML

#21346676
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12536) - you deserved it (927)

On 01/30/2015 at 5:51am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my parents continue comparing me to my "perfect" friend. He smokes dope, is a compulsive thief, and has gone to juvie numerous times. I'm passing school with flying colors and have never been in any trouble with the law. Apparently I should be more like him. FML

#21346172
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18048) - you deserved it (1286)

On 01/29/2015 at 12:01pm - misc - by John Doe (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I got attacked by a monkey. My country isn't even supposed to have monkeys in it. FML

#21346049
86 comments

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the local park for some romantic time together. By the time we left, I'd been called a pedo and a cradle robber, and been given several dirty looks. I'm 31. My boyfriend is 30 and just very baby-faced. FML

#21345623
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22311) - you deserved it (1891)

On 01/28/2015 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was ringing up a woman at work. I saw she'd bought a birthday cake, so I smiled and said I hope whoever it was for has a happy birthday. She looked at me in disgust, told me to mind my own business, then called me a "chucklefuck bitch". Okay then. FML

#21345551
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21884) - you deserved it (1770)

On 01/28/2015 at 10:01am - work - by retailshell (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, is the blizzard. I have to go into work, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't show up. I sent him a picture of the snow completely covering my car. He said I moved the snow there and could move it back. FML

#21345232
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21331) - you deserved it (1526)

On 01/27/2015 at 6:50pm - work - by bitchypast - United States (Maine)

Today, after I got home from a long day at work. I go inside my room and find a life-size cut out of Miley Cyrus. I don't know how it got here. I'm the only person with a key to my apartment. FML

#21345231
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22956) - you deserved it (1643)

On 01/27/2015 at 6:46pm - misc - by I'm screwed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my girlfriend is bulimic. Like that wasn't bad enough, I found out because she spent all of our rent money on food. FML

#21345004
107 comments

Today, I'm at the unique point in my schooling that I'm either extremely overqualified or extremely underqualified for every job opportunity that appeals to me. FML

#21344707
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20630) - you deserved it (1781)

On 01/26/2015 at 7:19pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I bought an electric toothbrush because they're supposed to be a lot healthier than regular ones. My crazy religious mom immediately called me a whore and said she knew what I really wanted to use it for. So that's $80 in the trash. FML

#21343820
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25802) - you deserved it (2279)

On 01/25/2015 at 2:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I realized my job working with food is getting to me. While having sex with my boyfriend, I fell asleep. He asked me what I was doing, and apparently I sleep-talked, saying "I'm chopping lettuce". FML

#21343098
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28681) - you deserved it (3597)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by xoragebaby - United States

Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML

#21342882
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29231) - you deserved it (4070)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:12pm - misc - by Annomymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I witnessed my husband in the shower singing Chicago's "You're the Inspiration" to his penis while manscaping. I guess that's a bond we'll never have. FML

#21342844
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24961) - you deserved it (3138)

On 01/23/2015 at 11:46am - intimacy - by LD - United States (Idaho)



Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML
  • Hello everyone, how's it going? You doing OK? Friday is the right time to get your glad rags on, go out, meet your friends, have a drink, get your freak on, shoot the breeze, shoot some hoops, don't shoot…

Friday 30 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: