Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nightbirdblue

Offline (the 07/15/2015 at 8:59am) | Search for a member

nightbirdblue

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Pittsburgh, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 May 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12292
  • Number of comments : 317
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 35 posted

About nightbirdblue : I had some great statement to say about FML earlier, but i forgot it.

nightbirdblue's page activity

Visits<b>mcore</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 1:54am<b>StephanieT97</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 1:23pm<b>Cringey</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 12:35am<b>myanichole</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 11:02pm<b>SW5175SW</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 8:04pm<b>chlobo1122</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 12:22am<b>zeusdom</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 1:29pm<b>mikehomza30</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 3:26pm<b>toma1945</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 5:13pm<b>KingCeeJay</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 10:33pm<b>Jenn_Ohio</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 2:05pm<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 6:56pm<b>Morticia_Addams</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 9:27am<b>cdncw</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 5:49pm<b>kukumber</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 3:45pm<b>madi113</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:19am<b>Fou_Lou</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 6:40am<b>Railworker12</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 7:42am

Fucked!<b>cdncw</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 11:49pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 12:43am<b>TheBadAndGnarly</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 8:08pm

nightbirdblue's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of nightbirdblue's badges

nightbirdblue's favorite FMLs

Today, my phone kept beeping, so I put it on silent and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I found the guy I went on a date with last night had sent dozens of messages. The first was "Good morning! :)" and the last was "Answer me u fuckin cunt!!!!" I think I'm staying single. FML

#21439620
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27712) - you deserved it (2633)

On 07/10/2015 at 3:54pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had 3 teeth pulled. Due to the anaesthesia, my mom came along to drive me home. Halfway through my surgery, she decided to leave and go shopping with her friend. She even left a note with the receptionist, saying that I needed to take on my own adult responsibilities. FML

#21439124
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27078) - you deserved it (1520)

On 07/09/2015 at 5:12pm - health - by gerbilmaster (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mother woke me up by loudly vacuuming the house. I had to work the next morning, so I asked her what she was thinking. She told me that if I was really tired and needed sleep, I wouldn't have woken up. It was 3 AM. FML

#21437872
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23979) - you deserved it (1425)

On 07/07/2015 at 9:26am - misc - by No-Sleep Nellie - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went to an important job interview, only to be told I'm not what such a "prestigious" company was looking for. This from a pimply-faced 20-something who took a personal call on speakerphone mid-interview, and actually said "lmao" out loud at his friend's joke. FML

#21436559
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24580) - you deserved it (1787)

On 07/05/2015 at 12:04am - work - by jobless1 (man) -

Today, my creepy 12-year-old neighbour stood on his trampoline, looked over my fence and started waving a large net around, chanting my dog's name. Now I'm scared to let my dog outside alone. FML

Today, after parking in the handicapped spot of a lot with my placard, an older couple with their 7-year-old grandchild came up and yelled at me for being a lying asshole and taking the parking spot. When I showed them my prosthetic leg, the kid started crying and guess who got yelled at again. FML

#21430208
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29594) - you deserved it (1261)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:46pm - health - by ICanExplain - United States (California)

Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen so I went to work. On my walk to work a girl pulls up on my bike and says I need to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. Hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass as police surround me and accuse me of stealing my own bike. FML

#21429443
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25573) - you deserved it (1443)

On 06/21/2015 at 9:29am - misc - by cwell88 (man) -

Today, my boyfriend murmured his sister's name during sex. Before you say he was thinking of someone else with the same name, I've only ever met one person in our town called Nohemi. FML

#21429316
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28494) - you deserved it (1680)

On 06/21/2015 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, a customer called the Chinese restaurant where I work and complained about her takeout order not including donuts. After informing her that we don't have them, she started to curse at me while citing the website as proof. She thought wontons were synonymous with donuts. FML

Today, I left a concert with my drunk mother who had spilled beer all over my shirt. I drove her home and she slept it off. Later, my mom "found" my shirt in the laundry and grounded me for drinking behind her back. She won't believe me that it was her. FML

#21422282
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24617) - you deserved it (1400)

On 06/07/2015 at 11:46am - misc - by MagnusDeus - United States (California)

Today, like every other day, my wife doesn't have time for sex because she's too busy on Facebook. Then she bitched me out because "we never have sex anymore." FML

#21421687
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27475) - you deserved it (2280)

On 06/06/2015 at 9:01am - intimacy - by cockblockedbyFB - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to come hang out with me. He said he was busy and had to do homework. Since he never studies, I got suspicious and went to check up on him. I found him playing dress-up with his cat. He's 17. FML

#21421616
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26920) - you deserved it (4329)

On 06/06/2015 at 1:52am - animals - by iamfab - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked me out. He said that if I ever touch his "fucking apple jacks" he will "chop" my nipples off and feed them to the dog. FML

#21421518
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27865) - you deserved it (4978)

On 06/05/2015 at 10:14pm - love - by CassidyQueen - United States (Missouri)

Today, I took my 6-year-old son to visit his grandmother, as the doctors say she only has days left to live. Minutes after we arrived, he leaned in close and told her that she's going to hell. FML

#21421237
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25827) - you deserved it (2908)

On 06/05/2015 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at work a customer bitched me out for not explicitly telling her that our peanut butter pancakes contain real peanut butter. She's threatening to sue because she's allergic to peanuts. FML

#21420888
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27576) - you deserved it (1803)

On 06/04/2015 at 9:07pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)



FML's blog

  • FML with pics? That's FML Pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. We reckoned pictures could be worth 300 characters, which is why we launched FML Pics. The name says it all, really: it's an FML app, only with…

Monday 3 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: