Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nicolemarkovic

Offline (yesterday at 11:52am) | Search for a member

nicolemarkovic

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 1 May 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9631
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About nicolemarkovic : Graphic design student, horse riding instructor, book lover, forever alone cat owner, cooking enthusiast, classical music fan, whiskey and beer drinking cigarettes smoking persona.

nicolemarkovic's page activity

Visits<b>kjrothgeb29</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 8:28am<b>colton_colton</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 9:04pm<b>Rajafashaneshi</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 4:37pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 12:14am<b>Arni792</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 5:27am<b>imalosertho</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 7:22pm<b>JJ_86</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 9:30pm<b>ThomasBombadil</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 4:15pm<b>vernk</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 10:27pm<b>712sash</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 8:29am<b>stodust</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 6:33pm<b>zeriously95</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 4:55pm<b>hunteraarontx</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 5:01pm<b>Psyker_Girl</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 3:19am<b>PopcornFeet</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 7:47pm<b>Markymark1202</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 12:59am<b>SquirrelRabbit</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 1:55am<b>SpilledWater93</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 5:45pm

nicolemarkovic's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of nicolemarkovic's badges

nicolemarkovic's favorite FMLs

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

#20037909
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35706) - you deserved it (10413) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version

Today, I met a girl I used to make fun of in high school. She was taking my fingerprints after I was arrested. FML

#20037281
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6380) - you deserved it (71562)

On 08/23/2012 at 9:42am - misc - by TheBeautifulOne (woman) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, after I requested a sick day, a very close co-worker texted her boyfriend that I'm a bitch for pretending to have the same rare illness that she recently suffered. She said it was unlikely, disrespectful and unfair that I didn't even look sick. I know this because she texted me instead. FML

#20037042
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21782) - you deserved it (2373)

On 08/23/2012 at 3:56am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, a stranger came up to me with a flirty smile, greeted me by my name, and asked if I remembered him. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't remember, so I asked him to tell me. He promptly left with a disappointed look. He was the most gorgeous person I've ever seen. FML

#20031656
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30634) - you deserved it (6848)

On 08/20/2012 at 9:25am - misc - by Maria (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, my boyfriend got a hotel room with a jacuzzi, drinks, and tickets to Six Flags for my birthday. He is currently passed out drunk on the other side of the bed, cursing me out in his sleep. FML

#20031154
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20499) - you deserved it (2224)

On 08/20/2012 at 1:00am - misc - by anon (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to bail on yet another date with an awesome guy. Every time I make a date, my hateful mother slips laxatives into my food so I'm glued to the shitter until 2am. This is the fourth time. FML

#20031010
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31389) - you deserved it (3485)

On 08/19/2012 at 11:53pm - love - by Lauren - United States (Iowa)

Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML

#20030745
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24905) - you deserved it (4886)

On 08/19/2012 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

#20027548
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37895) - you deserved it (2197)

On 08/18/2012 at 1:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was so bored that I actually read the iTunes store's terms and conditions. FML

#20024681
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30701) - you deserved it (7394)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by cardsftw - United States (California)

Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML

#20022504
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16388) - you deserved it (34075)

On 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by shelby124 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I witnessed my girlfriend and best "friend" getting intimate. In a dim-witted attempt to cover up, my best friend proclaimed, "This isn't what it looks like!" I might have given him the benefit of the doubt, had he not still been inside my girlfriend at the time. FML

#20021726
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35309) - you deserved it (2005)

On 08/15/2012 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I woke up to find my cat has gone into heat. Her favorite thing to do right now is sticking her ass in my face and howling like a Nazgûl. FML

#19992743
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19472) - you deserved it (4001)

On 07/30/2012 at 2:05pm - animals - by soph511 (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, due to my boyfriend teasing me about me possibly having been conceived on a beach because I was born in Hawaii, I finally asked my mom if I really was. She said no, but then told me in detail how much sex on a beach hurts when you get sand up your ass. FML

#19991998
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24301) - you deserved it (5710)

On 07/30/2012 at 1:56am - intimacy - by skyplaysguitar - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I went to the store to buy some new shirts. I tried them on and none of them fit. When I walked out to return the shirts, everybody was staring at me. I looked down to see why. I'd forgotten to put my original shirt back on. FML

#19991846
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8209) - you deserved it (20261)

On 07/30/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by hoaloha - United States (Arizona)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: