About nicolemarkovic : Graphic design student, book lover, forever alone cat owner, cooking enthusiast, classical music fan, whiskey and beer drinking cigarettes smoking persona.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
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Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13002) - you deserved it (17593)
On 09/20/2012 at 3:00am - intimacy - by myself - United States (California)
Today, I went to my dentist of four years. After the cleaning, the hygienist and I scheduled my next appointment, and she briefly left the room, leaving my file open on the computer. The data in a field called "NOTE" caught my eye: "Sissy. Freak. Always late. Ask about family or will flirt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6243) - you deserved it (16005)
On 09/20/2012 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5716) - you deserved it (26824)
On 09/19/2012 at 5:27am - love - by pussyface96 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was talking on the phone with my crush. After an hour of talking she told me, "If you were half as hot as you sound over the phone, I'd date you immediately." Maybe I should give up on love and start a phone sex line. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23263) - you deserved it (1688)
On 09/19/2012 at 2:24am - intimacy - by annonymous - United States
Today, thinking I was alone in my house, I went downstairs in my underwear, singing at the top of my voice. I strutted into the kitchen to find two middle-aged men I'd never seen before sat at the kitchen table, drinking coffee. Turns out they will be painting our house for the next two weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16805) - you deserved it (2577)
On 09/18/2012 at 10:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I was on a train. An elderly woman and her daughter got on, looking for a seat. The daughter suggested the one next to mine. The elderly woman looked at me and said something in Russian. I speak some Russian. She said she didn't want to "sit by the hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14936) - you deserved it (2443)
On 09/18/2012 at 10:04am - misc - by dearbailee (woman) - United States
Today, I decided to look for the horrid stench coming from my bathroom. It turns out my roommate has been throwing away her used tampons in the "trashcan by the sink." That "trashcan" is my old antique vase. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17599) - you deserved it (1537)
On 09/18/2012 at 7:56am - misc - by raesos91 - United States (Texas)
Today, I got engaged. My family is already placing bets on how long it will take for my fiancée to "wise up and ditch" me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15341) - you deserved it (1296)
On 09/18/2012 at 7:22am - love - by thanksfamily (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was finally paid back by a friend who wrote a check out. Not really looking at it, I went to the bank to deposit it. As I handed it to the teller, I noticed that he had written "sex" in the "for" memo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14656) - you deserved it (2390)
On 09/16/2012 at 9:46am - money - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I woke up feeling ecstatic, because last night, my crush had told my best friend he likes me a lot. I sent him a text message telling him the feeling is mutual. A little while after sending it, it hit me that his confession had only been part of a dream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23011) - you deserved it (4573)
On 09/15/2012 at 6:16pm - love - by hannah (woman) - New Zealand (Marlborough)
Today, after having a long talk with my mother about gays, she told me that she was totally open. I felt completely relieved, being gay myself. Seconds later, she said, "But not for you. I want you to find me a nice girl that can give me lots of grand kids." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19845) - you deserved it (3206)
On 09/13/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by EvilMother (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20373) - you deserved it (5243)
On 09/13/2012 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by blueballs (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36543) - you deserved it (2906)
On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19488) - you deserved it (4025)
On 09/11/2012 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by apparently inexperienced (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, after pouring my heart out to a beautiful girl on Facebook, and having her return the favor, she typed a final message that read, "That was my friend. Please f*ck off now. Thanks." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17204) - you deserved it (5694)
On 09/10/2012 at 11:13pm - love - by TheNaturalOrderofThingsSucks (man) - United States (Washington)
Monday 20 May 2013
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