Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nicolemarkovic

Offline (the 10/27/2014 at 9:36pm) | Search for a member

nicolemarkovic

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 1 May 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10295
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About nicolemarkovic : Graphic design student, horse riding instructor, book lover, forever alone cat owner, cooking enthusiast, classical music fan, whiskey and beer drinking cigarettes smoking persona.

nicolemarkovic's page activity

Visits<b>wang33334</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 9:36am<b>kjrothgeb29</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 9:04am<b>AmericaAmurka</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 4:54pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 9:04pm<b>Rajafashaneshi</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 4:37pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 12:14am<b>Arni792</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 5:27am<b>imalosertho</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 7:22pm<b>JJ_86</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 9:30pm<b>ThomasBombadil</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 4:15pm<b>vernk</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 10:27pm<b>712sash</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 8:29am<b>stodust</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 6:33pm<b>hunteraarontx</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 5:01pm<b>Psyker_Girl</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 3:19am<b>PopcornFeet</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 7:47pm<b>Markymark1202</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 12:59am<b>SquirrelRabbit</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 1:55am

nicolemarkovic's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of nicolemarkovic's badges

nicolemarkovic's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML

#97632
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (265896) - you deserved it (59836)

On 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by GD (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my professor, who was born without arms, asked somebody "need a hand?" There are over 300 students in that class and I was the only one laughing. FML

Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML

#70124
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27475) - you deserved it (54173)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by swtkiss1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally hooked up with a boy I really liked. We were lying in bed and my panties were already off when he asked me : "Would you also have sex with me if you weren't drunk?". I responded "Yes!" and asked him the same question, at which he responded : "No, probably not." FML

#61161
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57569) - you deserved it (11722)

On 02/17/2009 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Dannylover (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML

#60108
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66149) - you deserved it (5141)

On 02/17/2009 at 10:27am - misc - by stillsingleladies (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the pharmacy lady wished me a happy birthday. I was buying the morning after pill. FML

#2565
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28506) - you deserved it (7157)

On 01/25/2009 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by God hates me - United States (Texas)

Today, I was hitting on a girl that was getting ready to walk into the same class as I. We were waiting outside the room, and I told her that I heard the Professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down in a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML

#2109
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9406) - you deserved it (31215)

On 01/21/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by footinmouth - United States (Iowa)

Today, feeling romantic and overwhelmed with love, I told my fiancée: "I don't know what I'd do without you." She replied: "Well, you'd wank". FML

#591
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22659) - you deserved it (5403)

On 12/25/2008 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Nicos - Sent from mobile version

Today, well actually last night, I did a full striptease for my girlfriend to "You can leave your hat on". When the song was over, I was then completely naked, she says to me : "Maybe we should have closed the shutters!" FML

#413
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31274) - you deserved it (10453)

On 11/29/2008 at 6:50am - intimacy - by ... - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML

#405
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35877) - you deserved it (9565)

On 11/28/2008 at 3:50am - intimacy - by Sam - Sent from mobile version

Today, we had the (great?) idea of having sex on a bean bag before my roomate got back home. Result: thousands of small polystyrene balls all over the living room. And no, they can't be picked up in 30 minutes. FML

#383
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12734) - you deserved it (30755)

On 11/24/2008 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by William - Sent from mobile version

Today, right after sex, my girlfriend apologized to the neighbor for the screaming. He thanked her for the entertainment. FML

#288
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43504) - you deserved it (9414)

On 11/12/2008 at 9:39am - intimacy - by AirOne - United States (New York)

Today, my mum was watching a program about sexually transmitted diseases. Later on she starts telling me that I should be careful and use the right protection when having sex. Suddenly she stops and says « Actually I don’t know why I’m telling you this, after all you don’t have a boyfriend! » and walks away. FML

#257
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50150) - you deserved it (4552)

On 11/09/2008 at 2:43am - intimacy - by Enko - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: