About nicolemarkovic : Graphic design student, horse riding instructor, book lover, forever alone cat owner, cooking enthusiast, classical music fan, whiskey and beer drinking cigarettes smoking persona.
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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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nicolemarkovic's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML
by GD / 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love
by AppoKing / 02/19/2009 at 4:14pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by swtkiss1 / 02/18/2009 at 5:26pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I finally hooked up with a boy I really liked. We were lying in bed and my panties were already off when he asked me : "Would you also have sex with me if you weren't drunk?". I responded "Yes!" and asked him the same question, at which he responded : "No, probably not." FML
by Dannylover / 02/17/2009 at 3:53pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Intimacy
by stillsingleladies / 02/17/2009 at 10:27am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
by The Sbeak / 02/13/2009 at 10:54am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
by bittersweet / 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm / United States (New York) / Love
by God hates me / 01/25/2009 at 7:14pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was hitting on a girl that was getting ready to walk into the same class as I. We were waiting outside the room, and I told her that I heard the Professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down in a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML
by footinmouth / 01/21/2009 at 6:15pm / United States (Iowa) / Love
by Nicos / 12/25/2008 at 1:07am / Intimacy
Today, well actually last night, I did a full striptease for my girlfriend to "You can leave your hat on". When the song was over, I was then completely naked, she says to me : "Maybe we should have closed the shutters!" FML
by ... / 11/29/2008 at 6:50am / Intimacy
Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML
by Sam / 11/28/2008 at 3:50am / Intimacy
Today, we had the (great?) idea of having sex on a bean bag before my roomate got back home. Result: thousands of small polystyrene balls all over the living room. And no, they can't be picked up in 30 minutes. FML
by William / 11/24/2008 at 11:27pm / Intimacy
by AirOne / 11/12/2008 at 9:39am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, my mum was watching a program about sexually transmitted diseases. Later on she starts telling me that I should be careful and use the right protection when having sex. Suddenly she stops and says « Actually I don’t know why I’m telling you this, after all you don’t have a boyfriend! » and walks away. FML
by Enko / 11/09/2008 at 2:43am / Intimacy