nicolemarkovic

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Offline (the 10/27/2014 at 9:36pm)

nicolemarkovic

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 1 May 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13815
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About nicolemarkovic : Graphic design student, horse riding instructor, book lover, forever alone cat owner, cooking enthusiast, classical music fan, whiskey and beer drinking cigarettes smoking persona.

nicolemarkovic's page activity

Visits<b>wang33334</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 9:36am<b>kjrothgeb29</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 9:04am<b>AmericaAmurka</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 4:54pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 9:04pm<b>Rajafashaneshi</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 4:37pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 12:14am<b>Arni792</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 5:27am<b>imalosertho</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 7:22pm<b>JJ_86</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 9:30pm<b>ThomasBombadil</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 4:15pm<b>712sash</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 8:29am<b>stodust</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 6:33pm<b>hunteraarontx</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 5:01pm<b>Psyker_Girl</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 3:19am<b>PopcornFeet</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 7:47pm<b>Markymark1202</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 12:59am<b>SquirrelRabbit</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 1:55am<b>SpilledWater93</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 5:45pm

nicolemarkovic's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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nicolemarkovic's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML

by unbelievable208 / 08/05/2009 at 1:28am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I was on a flight and one of my friends was sitting next to this woman who happened to be sleeping with her mouth wide open. My friend decided to take a picture. While I was editing it, a man sitting behind us said "If you want to take a picture of my girlfriend, wait until she's awake". FML

by SexyPlayer9 / 07/24/2009 at 1:23am / United States (Georgia) / Transportation

Today, I had to clean my walls with those Mr Clean Magic Sponges because we were having visitors. I got bored and started drawing penises with it because they would leave wet marks. There is nothing magic about how slow they dry when your visitors come an hour early. They saw all ten of them. FML

by iJehx / 07/13/2009 at 6:18pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

by takinabreak / 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2009 at 3:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I left on a 2 month trip. I was in a hurry to pack so I wouldn't miss my plane. There were 2 piles of clothes on my bed. One pile was clothes that didn't fit to take to a thrift store, one was to take with me. Guess which one I brought? FML

by Cheech / 06/29/2009 at 5:52pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, while reading some chemistry notes I came across the term "solid water". Completely stumped, I asked myself, "What the hell is solid water?" Then I heard my little cousin say "ice." I'm a 4th year science major in university. He still checks the closet for monsters. FML

by uneek14 / 06/23/2009 at 10:19am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my daughter finally walked down the aisle with a man she loves very much. While I was escorting her, I managed to trip and fall down revealing what I've been trying to hide all of this time: my shiny gleaming bald head that showed when my wig fell off. FML

by Unlucky / 06/16/2009 at 6:49am / Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad) / Miscellaneous

Today, a man came up to me at the bus stop. He went into this long story about how his girlfriend is pregnant and they both haven't eaten in days. Trying to be tough and funny I said back, "sounds like you should invest in condoms instead of food." He responded by beating and robbing me. FML

by beatenbyabum / 06/12/2009 at 4:45pm / United States (Georgia) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

by mcullen21 / 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

by apav / 06/11/2009 at 7:52am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair. FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

by LadyChristina25 / 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

by Angelofkarma / 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Love