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nicolemarkovic

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nicolemarkovic
  • Town/Country : Liptovský Mikuláš, Slovakia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 1 May 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 8490
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About nicolemarkovic : Graphic design student, horse riding instructor, book lover, forever alone cat owner, cooking enthusiast, classical music fan, whiskey and beer drinking cigarettes smoking persona.

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You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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nicolemarkovic's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone, when I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart. He swore at me for being a pig, hung up, and has ignored all my subsequent calls. I try not to date idiots, but it's like I have a big old shithead-attracting magnet attached to me or something. FML

#19720821
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17714) - you deserved it (12156)

On 06/02/2012 at 12:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML

#19714828
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10762) - you deserved it (39133)

On 06/01/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML

#19702897
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27546) - you deserved it (6898)

On 05/30/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé and I broke up, and he won't answer my calls or texts. I don't want him back; he has my dog. FML

#19702811
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22004) - you deserved it (2266)

On 05/30/2012 at 1:25am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML

#19517989
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23847) - you deserved it (3957)

On 04/23/2012 at 6:51pm - kids - by sadmommy - United States (Texas)

Today, I noticed a strange lady following me around in the mall. After a while I began to get creeped out, so I confronted her. Apparently she has to make sure everything she buys is better than what I buy. After a long silence she said, "What? You never noticed me before?" FML

#19404370
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28495) - you deserved it (1830)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:40pm - misc - by Eliza - United States (Texas)

Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me for another guy. He said "good" and explained that given how overpopulated the planet is, he's actually disappointed that I'm not gay. His advice was: "just wank it off and move on". FML

#19377820
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20577) - you deserved it (2396)

On 03/30/2012 at 6:21pm - love - by sad (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, one of my dorm-mates started laughing at a bra hanging to dry in our bathroom. She thought it was hilarious that a college student would still have "such small, baby tits." It was my bra. FML

#18924732
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20946) - you deserved it (2251)

On 01/27/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by selfesteemboost (woman) - Belize (Belize)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is a Mormon, when his mother greeted me saying how happy she was her son had found himself a Mormon girlfriend. I know nothing about Mormonism, except from what I've seen on South Park, and I'm an atheist. FML

#18830961
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26344) - you deserved it (5391)

On 01/17/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

#18022351
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28986) - you deserved it (5943)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:03am - kids - by optimistic2628 - United States

Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML

#18021693
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24027) - you deserved it (2268)

On 10/19/2011 at 5:40am - misc - by targe - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

#17848518
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41011) - you deserved it (3192)

On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend bought me a gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. As he slid the ring on my finger for the first time, he started moving it up and down my finger and making loud sex sounds, completely ruining the romantic moment. FML

Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML

#17847323
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31095) - you deserved it (10498)

On 09/27/2011 at 11:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML

#17847323
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31095) - you deserved it (10498)

On 09/27/2011 at 11:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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