Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nicolemarkovic

Offline (17 hours ago) | Search for a member

nicolemarkovic

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 1 May 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9888
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About nicolemarkovic : Graphic design student, horse riding instructor, book lover, forever alone cat owner, cooking enthusiast, classical music fan, whiskey and beer drinking cigarettes smoking persona.

nicolemarkovic's page activity

Visits<b>kjrothgeb29</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 9:04am<b>AmericaAmurka</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 4:54pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 9:04pm<b>Rajafashaneshi</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 4:37pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 12:14am<b>Arni792</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 5:27am<b>imalosertho</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 7:22pm<b>JJ_86</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 9:30pm<b>ThomasBombadil</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 4:15pm<b>vernk</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 10:27pm<b>712sash</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 8:29am<b>stodust</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 6:33pm<b>hunteraarontx</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 5:01pm<b>Psyker_Girl</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 3:19am<b>PopcornFeet</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 7:47pm<b>Markymark1202</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 12:59am<b>SquirrelRabbit</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 1:55am<b>SpilledWater93</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 5:45pm

nicolemarkovic's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of nicolemarkovic's badges

nicolemarkovic's favorite FMLs

Today, I was fired on my second day of work after a year and a half of unemployment. Apparently, my "tendency to solve problems instead of just accepting them made the other workers uneasy". FML

#20617597
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49263) - you deserved it (3257)

On 04/24/2013 at 12:55am - work - by anonymous (man) - Germany

Today, I was fired on my second day of work after a year and a half of unemployment. Apparently, my "tendency to solve problems instead of just accepting them made the other workers uneasy". FML

#20617597
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49263) - you deserved it (3257)

On 04/24/2013 at 12:55am - work - by anonymous (man) - Germany

Today, I was fired on my second day of work after a year and a half of unemployment. Apparently, my "tendency to solve problems instead of just accepting them made the other workers uneasy". FML

#20617597
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49263) - you deserved it (3257)

On 04/24/2013 at 12:55am - work - by anonymous (man) - Germany

Today, I had a job interview with a man that I got drunk with at a bar on Saturday night. He spent an hour telling me things I did that I don't even remember. FML

#20599168
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36971) - you deserved it (19725)

On 04/17/2013 at 11:25am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I left my son with my husband while I went to the store. Ten minutes later, my dog was missing a large patch of fur, and neither of them can stop laughing. FML

#20599149
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38856) - you deserved it (7457)

On 04/17/2013 at 11:14am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend said he felt like eating icing. So I baked him cupcakes, put icing on them and decorated them. When I handed them to him, he picked off the decoration, licked the icing and handed the cupcake back to me, saying, "I told you that's all I wanted." FML

#20592650
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24222) - you deserved it (48504)

On 04/15/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by Cupcakes (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML

#20570035
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59108) - you deserved it (5972)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by madiison09 - United States

Today, my fiancé dumped me because he claimed he needed to "focus on his career and his engagement." When I asked him how dumping me would help with his engagement, he immediately replied with, "No, I mean my other one." FML

#20569834
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46125) - you deserved it (3233)

On 04/01/2013 at 10:50am - love - by t.hughes (woman) - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She didn't say no, she didn't faint, and she didn't cry. She just stared at me blankly and said, "But... why...?" FML

#20566302
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43108) - you deserved it (3620) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/29/2013 at 9:29pm - love - by Badam - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I realized that I'm so lonely I can no longer whack off without bursting into tears and crying like a little bitch. FML

#20564779
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42246) - you deserved it (19357)

On 03/29/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML

#20558472
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33811) - you deserved it (8791)

On 03/24/2013 at 7:47pm - love - by fuckyoutoo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41786) - you deserved it (15695)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

#20540243
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32947) - you deserved it (50830) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by Lilypad (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, thinking my girlfriend had left her little black thong in the dryer to tease me, I sent her a picture of me seductively posing with it. She didn't text back, but a few hours later my 16 year old daughter asked if she'd left anything in the dryer. FML

#20539833
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22002) - you deserved it (48099)

On 03/11/2013 at 5:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, thinking my girlfriend had left her little black thong in the dryer to tease me, I sent her a picture of me seductively posing with it. She didn't text back, but a few hours later my 16 year old daughter asked if she'd left anything in the dryer. FML

#20539833
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22002) - you deserved it (48099)

On 03/11/2013 at 5:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: