About nico8788 : I'm the captain of my schools wrestling team. I love Brazilian jiu jitshu and any type of grappling. I'm learning how to box and would love to be a fighter someday.
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nico8788's favorite FMLs
Today, as I was getting out of my car, an old and obese lady walked up to me and called me an "inconsiderate heartless bitch" for using the last handicap parking spot. I guess she didn't see my wheelchair. FML
by regstl / 06/01/2013 at 2:21am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by Amber / 05/28/2013 at 7:42pm / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 04/24/2013 at 6:29pm / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Love
by ouch / 04/16/2013 at 12:17pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, it transpired that my mom has been spending her stint in prison trying to play matchmaker for me, going so far as to call one of her finds, "good breeding stock". Apparently, I don't already have enough criminals in my life; last September I was the only member of my family of 5 not locked up. FML
by Grand_Cookie / 04/16/2013 at 4:48am / United States (Nebraska) / Love
by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
Today, my girlfriend's parents were out of town, so I stayed the night, hoping for some fun. Somehow, we started talking about conspiracy theories, and she spent the next half hour ranting at me about how Osama bin Laden is really still alive. FML
by InDisbelief / 04/12/2013 at 4:17pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML
by Anonymous / 04/12/2013 at 11:34am / United States / Intimacy
by Fml / 04/12/2013 at 1:05am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick". One more year. FML
by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 12:59am / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, while walking to my car after work, I witnessed some moron who was texting while riding her bike running right into my parked car, resulting in a broken side mirror, a damaged windshield, two dents, and for her, a broken phone and nose. She's threatening to sue me for damages. FML
by Anon / 04/08/2013 at 6:04pm / United States (Ohio) / Transportation
Today, our guest lecturer told us to imagine 25,000 dead koalas in our lecture theatre, and if that didn't make us emotional then we didn't care about them. She then went on a rant, during which she encouraged us to join the "koala army". FML
by save the koalas? uhh / 04/08/2013 at 10:08am / Australia (Queensland) / Work
Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML
by maturity / 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, I was discussing possible career choices with my relatives. Pretty much everyone expressed the belief that I'm screwed for life, with my grandma commenting later: "She ain't even got the tits for porn. God help her." FML
by flea-bitten / 04/06/2013 at 3:41pm / United States / Work
by ohgodwhy / 04/06/2013 at 10:15am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…