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nickmcclendon

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nickmcclendon

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1719
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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nickmcclendon's favorite FMLs

Today , I was getting ready to get in the shower. Completely naked , I pulled the curtain away and there was a huge spider on the wall in the shower. I screamed and my husband , disoriented from sleeping , cummed running in and knocked me over. I killed the spider with my forehead and broke my nose. FML

Today for April fools I decidd to set off te smoke detectors in my friend's apartment wile e was sleeping and saran wrap te outside of is bedroom doorway so e would smack into it. Instead e jumpd out te window and broke is leg. FML

#748414
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19036) - you deserved it (111289)

On 04/01/2009 at 4:06pm - health - by nic (woman) - United States (Virginia)

TADAY ME AN MY FRIEND DECIDED TO SPY ON MY CRUSH. HE LIVES ACROS THE STREET, SO WE CLIMBED ON THE ROOF OF MY HOUSE AN WATCHED HIM WITH BINOCULARS. HE WAS WORKING OUT, AN AFTER 5 MINUTE HE STARTED WRITING SOMETHING. HE PUTTED A PIECE OF PAPER AGAINST THE WINDOW AN IT SAID, 'STOP WATCHING ME.' FML

#650213
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15021) - you deserved it (135638)

On 03/27/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Creep (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to putted his penis in my mouth. FML

#632473
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (171386) - you deserved it (34258)

On 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by coughandcold (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I Was Entered Into An Online Contest Where They Announce Yur Name On The Radio And If You Call In Within An Hour They Pay Yur Bills For You !! I'm Unemployed, So I Got Really Excited When They Announced Mah Name !! My Call Wouldn't Go Through - I Hadn't Paid Mah Phone Bill And The Line Was Disconnected !! FML

#630106
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65505) - you deserved it (26376)

On 03/26/2009 at 8:24pm - money - by Broke (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to the gym with two of friends expecting to pay a guest fee but the cute guy working at the front desk let me in for free. On the way out after working out I started to flrt with him an he said "Don't flatter yourself, I just let you in because I'm lazy."

#588112
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65822) - you deserved it (15611)

On 03/24/2009 at 9:48pm - love - by sarah_sad (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went on Facebook to find that my little brother had messd with my profile. He wrote on my status that I'm a piece of shit, I have no life, an several other nasty an pervertd things. Underneath, it said 26 of my friends likd this. I'm new to Facebook. So far I have 26 friends. fat FML

#492068
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57312) - you deserved it (7882)

On 03/20/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by noname (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today , I decidd to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughd an said , "is that yur excuse for not bieng able to get laid?" an walkd out of the room. FML

#283028
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (274468) - you deserved it (50184)

On 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by sucks - United States

Today it was my birthday. My girlfriend bought me a Nickelback CD. FML

#259596
386 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86643) - you deserved it (27653)

On 03/10/2009 at 8:46am - misc - by deez_nutz (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML

#75299
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48378) - you deserved it (9820)

On 02/19/2009 at 1:14am - animals - by zac545 (man) - United States (New York)

yesterday my 5 year old nephew showd me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I looool smild an said, ( Wow! Now, how about some blue martians! ) He lookd at me an replid, ( How about some blue shut the fuck up?! ) FML

#56665
512 comments

I agree, your life sucks (241567) - you deserved it (82256)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Taday I was lying in bd wit ma boyfriend, e grabbd ma double cin and goes "gobble, gobble". FML

#36168
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36440) - you deserved it (18389)

On 02/13/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by fmlfmboyfriendah (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was mah dad. mega FML

#27684
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74722) - you deserved it (3970)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by sober (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I fell asleep . I felt something on my face . I battd it away . It was my hamster . It did from a concussion upon hitting the wall . FML

#8687
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36121) - you deserved it (13996)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:29pm - animals - by EpicFail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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