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nickjam19

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nickjam19
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 632
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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nickjam19's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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nickjam19's favorite FMLs

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33500) - you deserved it (5187)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

Today, I was sitting at the mall food court, and wearing a "Blink If You Want Me" shirt. A guy walked by, saw my shirt, and made a point of holding a staring contest with me before moving on. FML

#19139101
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9565) - you deserved it (32174)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm - misc - by KittenNomNom - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML

#19136346
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32391) - you deserved it (4806)

On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to tell my wife that the new "vegan" diet she has put us on is not working with my body. It's not the horrible gas, hot shits, or constant hunger that made me realize this. It was the dream I had about fried chicken that did. FML

#19134075
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21151) - you deserved it (2655)

On 02/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by kohler9790 - United States

Today, it's been one week since my demented grandma babysat my five-year-old daughter while my husband took me to a fancy restaurant. Now she's taken to screaming and calling me a "damn commie" whenever I discipline or say no to her. FML

#19102650
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18389) - you deserved it (4887)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML

#19090033
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22959) - you deserved it (2205)

On 02/15/2012 at 10:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker Spaniel a haircut. I now have the equivalent of an over-sized naked mole rat running around my house. FML

#19083975
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17441) - you deserved it (2268)

On 02/15/2012 at 6:09am - animals - by workaholic (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked a good friend what she thought would make me more attractive to women. Her advice was, "Don't be yourself." FML

#19073869
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17311) - you deserved it (2758)

On 02/14/2012 at 1:05pm - misc - by random - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently, the mafia is out to get him. FML

#19071061
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18811) - you deserved it (2034)

On 02/14/2012 at 1:32am - love - by Just_Me_88 (woman) - United States

Today, my bra burst apart in the middle of class. I then had the privilege of asking my male teacher if I could borrow his stapler to put it back together. FML

#19067640
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24293) - you deserved it (3670)

On 02/13/2012 at 7:28pm - misc - by chlolivia (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML

#19035452
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24487) - you deserved it (8113) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2012 at 5:11pm - misc - by Bonapp - France

Today, I got stuck in a revolving door. FML

#18972343
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15156) - you deserved it (6434)

On 02/01/2012 at 9:48pm - misc - by pmony - United States (New York)

Today, my nap was cut short by three bricks flying through my window. FML

#18966714
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23288) - you deserved it (1849)

On 02/01/2012 at 3:22am - misc - by dammit - United States

Today, our school chorus went to a senior citizens' home. An elderly lady died during my solo. FML

#18964784
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40571) - you deserved it (3580)

On 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm - misc - by sorrygrandma - United States (Pennsylvania)



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