Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nickjam19

Search for a member

nickjam19

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 787
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

nickjam19's page activity

Visits<b>Comoke1024</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 4:58pm<b>phinsa123</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 9:55am<b>MachineGunAshlee</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 2:43pm<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 10:07am

nickjam19's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of nickjam19's badges

nickjam19's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

#19279551
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33759) - you deserved it (2441)

On 03/14/2012 at 10:01pm - misc - by CallaC (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

#19279132
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32829) - you deserved it (5845)

On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML

#19274783
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6549) - you deserved it (27020)

On 03/13/2012 at 11:22pm - misc - by Emma Five (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

#19270252
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29113) - you deserved it (7283)

On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I got a hand cramp from popping zits on my face. FML

#19268637
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10200) - you deserved it (21502)

On 03/13/2012 at 12:03am - health - by pagvscgrac - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went driving for the first time. I made it twenty miles to my step mom's house, and didn't stop until I was inside the garage. Too bad the garage door was closed when I got there. FML

#19255892
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14612) - you deserved it (14542)

On 03/11/2012 at 5:15am - misc - by meganisabella - United States

Today, I became a father. Unfortunately, my wife found out. FML

#19253868
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9961) - you deserved it (144276)

On 03/10/2012 at 9:16pm - misc - by Major3 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was jamming out and playing some air guitar. I somehow managed to knee myself directly in my left eye socket. I now have a hideously swollen face and a black eye. When people ask me what happened, I'll be hesitant to tell the truth. FML

#19237807
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8616) - you deserved it (20376)

On 03/08/2012 at 4:03am - misc - by wtf - United States

Today, I was debating if I actually do talk to myself. I was having this conversation with myself. FML

#19236548
96 comments

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He gave me a cupcake. FML

#19235270
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21012) - you deserved it (3315)

On 03/07/2012 at 8:08pm - work - by Janitor (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, due to the powerful antibiotic I was taking for a bad infection on my knee, I had no control over my bowels and shat my pants while discussing a plumbing problem in a customers basement. FML

#19226157
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24341) - you deserved it (1798)

On 03/06/2012 at 6:53am - health - by beernuts - United States

Today, I went swimming in a pond. I came out covered in leeches. Terrified, I screamed, flailed about and cried out for help until half a dozen people ran over. One of them was kind enough to point out that those leeches I was so afraid of were actually patches of mud. FML

#19223342
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7560) - you deserved it (27039)

On 03/05/2012 at 8:36pm - misc - by asdfBUTT (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

#19222956
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25096) - you deserved it (7706)

On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

#19214836
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21052) - you deserved it (26544)

On 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I started crying in class because of a sad part in the book I was reading. I got pulled out into the hallway and my male teacher asked, "Is it your special time?" FML

#19189371
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30930) - you deserved it (7704)

On 02/29/2012 at 3:21pm - misc - by Crying - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • Freaks's Illustrated FML
  • What's going on? Something weird is going on. I can feel it in my bones. Can't you? People are acting weird, as if they're short-fused all of a sudden. There's definitely…

Friday 1 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: