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Mobility
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19385) - you deserved it (3131)
On 03/18/2012 at 8:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I watched as my step-dad put locks on my window, because he's convinced that I've been sneaking out at night. All my mom did was casually remark that I'm fucked if there's ever a fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22788) - you deserved it (2240)
On 03/18/2012 at 4:02pm - misc - by Rapunzel (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28331) - you deserved it (1765)
On 03/14/2012 at 10:01pm - misc - by CallaC (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25637) - you deserved it (4304)
On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)
Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4858) - you deserved it (18545)
On 03/13/2012 at 11:22pm - misc - by Emma Five (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22540) - you deserved it (5278)
On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I got a hand cramp from popping zits on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8472) - you deserved it (18038)
On 03/13/2012 at 12:03am - health - by pagvscgrac - United States (Missouri)
Today, I went driving for the first time. I made it twenty miles to my step mom's house, and didn't stop until I was inside the garage. Too bad the garage door was closed when I got there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11133) - you deserved it (9811)
On 03/11/2012 at 5:15am - misc - by meganisabella - United States
Today, I became a father. Unfortunately, my wife found out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6828) - you deserved it (101382)
On 03/10/2012 at 9:16pm - misc - by Major3 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was jamming out and playing some air guitar. I somehow managed to knee myself directly in my left eye socket. I now have a hideously swollen face and a black eye. When people ask me what happened, I'll be hesitant to tell the truth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6993) - you deserved it (16976)
On 03/08/2012 at 4:03am - misc - by wtf - United States
Today, I was debating if I actually do talk to myself. I was having this conversation with myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13392) - you deserved it (4615)
On 03/07/2012 at 11:06pm - misc - by Kayla_Zee_Ninja - United States
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He gave me a cupcake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16360) - you deserved it (2371)
On 03/07/2012 at 8:08pm - work - by Janitor (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, due to the powerful antibiotic I was taking for a bad infection on my knee, I had no control over my bowels and shat my pants while discussing a plumbing problem in a customers basement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19083) - you deserved it (1193)
On 03/06/2012 at 6:53am - health - by beernuts - United States
Today, I went swimming in a pond. I came out covered in leeches. Terrified, I screamed, flailed about and cried out for help until half a dozen people ran over. One of them was kind enough to point out that those leeches I was so afraid of were actually patches of mud. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5773) - you deserved it (18269)
On 03/05/2012 at 8:36pm - misc - by asdfBUTT (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19973) - you deserved it (6932)
On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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