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nickjam19

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nickjam19

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  • Number of visits : 807
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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nickjam19's page activity

Visits<b>Comoke1024</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 4:58pm<b>phinsa123</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 9:55am<b>MachineGunAshlee</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 2:43pm<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 10:07am

nickjam19's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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nickjam19's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML

#20097984
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25060) - you deserved it (2631)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:10am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

#20094500
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29061) - you deserved it (5034)

On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML

#20092583
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19102) - you deserved it (7318)

On 09/28/2012 at 6:21pm - misc - by GEE, THANKS DAD (woman) - United States

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

#20091141
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35880) - you deserved it (2632)

On 09/27/2012 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by linn (woman) - United States

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

#20089182
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27806) - you deserved it (4934)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)

Today, my estranged mother texted me saying, "Gran died, LOL." My grandmother and I were fairly close, so I was shocked and disgusted. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked if she knew what "LOL" meant. She did. FML

#20088350
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27985) - you deserved it (1510)

On 09/25/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by burn in hell (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML

#20083631
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20823) - you deserved it (8819)

On 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm - kids - by SadDad (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was called into my 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that you're supposed to go around and hump people. FML

#20079735
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21619) - you deserved it (2526)

On 09/19/2012 at 7:33pm - kids - by Judy - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML

#20071617
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23462) - you deserved it (1929)

On 09/14/2012 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML

#20057214
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25918) - you deserved it (3406)

On 09/04/2012 at 9:51am - misc - by UnknownOperation (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML

#20052579
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32561) - you deserved it (10156)

On 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by thewhompingwillow (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my family and I went to the movie theater. There weren't enough free seats near the front, so I sat a few rows back with my grandpa. He kept throwing our snacks at my parents' heads all through the movie. He claimed he'd been asleep the whole time, and I'm now grounded. FML

#20027054
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24373) - you deserved it (1930)

On 08/17/2012 at 8:39pm - misc - by wow, thanks (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML

#20026176
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28283) - you deserved it (6150)

On 08/17/2012 at 9:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I realized why my sister refuses to let me clean her side of the room. She's secretly been trying to revive dead ants. FML

#20023605
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21527) - you deserved it (1502)

On 08/16/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by scarredforlife - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

#20015702
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31011) - you deserved it (8567)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)



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