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nickjam19

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nickjam19

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  • Number of visits : 803
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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nickjam19's page activity

Visits<b>Comoke1024</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 4:58pm<b>phinsa123</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 9:55am<b>MachineGunAshlee</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 2:43pm<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 10:07am

nickjam19's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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nickjam19's favorite FMLs

Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60423) - you deserved it (9127)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML

#20636856
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53431) - you deserved it (7502)

On 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his buddies that the main reason he got into video game modding was so he could put a virtual version of me in his games and "shoot the fuck out of that bitch". FML

#20627653
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49880) - you deserved it (6670)

On 04/28/2013 at 1:32pm - love - by gibbette (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I had to go to the emergency room with my sister, due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML

#20624720
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49243) - you deserved it (4652)

On 04/27/2013 at 8:42am - health - by seekerglow176 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

#20623610
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45925) - you deserved it (9195)

On 04/26/2013 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79424) - you deserved it (4082)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79424) - you deserved it (4082)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, a girl was telling me how she was very stressed over her parents' divorce and moving away to another part of the state. While I was listening, I started choking on my saliva. She thought I was laughing. She hasn't spoken to me since. FML

#20601828
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42009) - you deserved it (6746)

On 04/18/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by notlaughing (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML

#20571304
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34992) - you deserved it (7595)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:30am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML

#20570035
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58825) - you deserved it (5943)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by madiison09 - United States

Today, I went out to a restaurant to meet a girl that I met online. When I arrived I texted her and she said she was wearing a blue shirt. The only person that was wearing anything blue was a fat man smiling in the corner. FML

#20552465
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36628) - you deserved it (9731)

On 03/20/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by bobthenun - United States (California)

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

#20536627
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37149) - you deserved it (2851)

On 03/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I had to help my little sister do a first-grade project for school. For one part, they have to draw a picture of their role model. She drew a whale, and I asked, "A whale is your role model?" She laughed and said, "No! It's you!" FML

#20532338
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35358) - you deserved it (5374)

On 03/05/2013 at 3:19pm - kids - by peace out - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was talking to my grandma and I mentioned the fact that tomatoes are technically fruit. It's been an hour and she's still yelling, accusing me of lying to her. FML

#20473723
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24802) - you deserved it (4123)

On 01/22/2013 at 8:35pm - misc - by I should have kept my mouth shut - United States (California)



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