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Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37307) - you deserved it (4193)
On 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by orgasmicriding (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37307) - you deserved it (4193)
On 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by orgasmicriding (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I dyed my naturally-blonde hair dark brown. Upon seeing me, my boyfriend immediately wanted to have sex, because I now remind him of his favourite porn star. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29792) - you deserved it (9025)
On 12/22/2012 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by brunetteshavemorefun (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25662) - you deserved it (5292)
On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7363) - you deserved it (50246)
On 12/09/2012 at 11:57am - intimacy - by SamWGovan (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of my shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is my favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing my own boobs because they smelled like my ex-boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12835) - you deserved it (3351)
On 11/27/2012 at 10:35am - love - by ToxxicAngel (woman) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)
Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23538) - you deserved it (4053)
On 11/16/2012 at 4:40am - misc - by mfischer (man) - United States
Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18384) - you deserved it (1552)
On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19779) - you deserved it (1590)
On 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm - animals - by With_Love929 - United States (New York)
Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16981) - you deserved it (959)
On 10/17/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62524) - you deserved it (6324)
On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20759) - you deserved it (2400)
On 09/30/2012 at 3:37pm - intimacy - by whatswrongwithit?:( (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend graduated from boot camp. After the ceremony, I rushed over and tried to jump into his arms. This would have been romantic if he was expecting it. Instead, he fell over and we crashed onto the floor in front of everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5173) - you deserved it (14287)
On 09/30/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by oohrahgal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22825) - you deserved it (2188)
On 08/08/2012 at 9:53am - work - by blakeintheoffice - United States
Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I've been in love with for three years. Her response was to well up, start crying, and ask me why I had to have chosen her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19292) - you deserved it (1661)
On 06/26/2012 at 1:18pm - love - by Oraashi (man) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)
Friday 24 May 2013
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