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nickbeyer

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  • Number of visits : 1545
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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nickbeyer's page activity

Visits<b>Welshite</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 11:57am<b>Marblecakelolz</b> - the 04/11/2013 at 6:44am<b>TorisaurusRexxx</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 12:24am

nickbeyer's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Consolation prize

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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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nickbeyer's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the park unsuccessfully trying to take a selfie. A stranger walked up to me and offered to take the picture for me. I agreed and gave him my phone. He took it and ran off. FML

#20595412
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29116) - you deserved it (54120)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:08am - misc - by no selfie for me - United States (California)

Today, while trying to find my phone in the depths of the sheets on my bed, I gave my comforter a huge shake. A second later, I heard a crash. My phone had miraculously flown straight into the glass of water on my nightstand. Found it. FML

#20593500
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39406) - you deserved it (8255)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by Reno - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

Today, I found out that my classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangement where people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis. A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn. FML

#20585229
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58094) - you deserved it (16260)

On 04/11/2013 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I came home after working overtime to find my dog whining and giving me her "I need to take a shit" face. After changing my shoes, I came back ready to let her out, only to find her giving me the "I just took a shit on your rug" face. My husband has been home all day. FML

#20585168
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40056) - you deserved it (7773)

On 04/11/2013 at 3:38pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Shropshire)

Today, my racist, homophobic, generally degenerate grandmother visited. Within 20 minutes, she uttered multiple racial slurs, said Robert Downey Jr. will burn in hell for playing a black man in one of his movies, and yelled that she'd "whip the piss" out of me, after I asked her to leave. FML

#20584991
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34460) - you deserved it (5714)

On 04/11/2013 at 1:16pm - misc - by no tea parties here, gran (man) - United States

Today, I started my new job as a mail carrier. One of my assigned roads was Milbrooke Street, which I'd never heard of. After driving around for ages trying to find it, I called for directions. The street doesn't exist in my city; it's just the boss' way of seeing how stupid you are. FML

#20584939
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32985) - you deserved it (7720)

On 04/11/2013 at 12:18pm - work - by Directionally challenged - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50609) - you deserved it (10863)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML

#20584680
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44604) - you deserved it (8397)

On 04/11/2013 at 5:11am - misc - by zahra_786 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my social teacher thought it would be a great idea to have a casual debate about Margaret Thatcher and her legacy. Within 10 minutes, the entire class was yelling, screaming, throwing stuff at each other. I got hit in the face with a binder. FML

#20584117
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37437) - you deserved it (3522)

On 04/10/2013 at 8:40pm - misc - by great idea - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband and I announced our upcoming divorce. My friends told me how sorry they were and that they're available for whatever I need. His friends told him to just call the girl from last weekend and get himself laid again. FML

#20583666
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48704) - you deserved it (6489)

On 04/10/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by a - United States

Today, after my shift at the hospital ended, I happened to look into a full-length mirror. My new scrubs turned out to be see-through. Instead of my undies, everyone got a good look at my cellulite-ridden ass. Fan-fucking-tastic day to wear a thong. FML

#20583566
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36549) - you deserved it (16947)

On 04/10/2013 at 1:41pm - work - by birdiebeth13 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is". Orgasm gone. FML

#20583515
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49527) - you deserved it (8002)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:32pm - intimacy - by iwassoclose - United States

Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML

#20583359
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40276) - you deserved it (19344)

On 04/10/2013 at 9:26am - kids - by fatmom (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was riding a new horse when a lawnmower starting up spooked her. She jumped straight up in the air and I landed directly on the saddle horn. I can't walk or feel anything between my legs. FML

#20583228
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37876) - you deserved it (3785)

On 04/10/2013 at 5:06am - animals - by Anonymous - United States



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