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nickbeyer

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  • Number of visits : 1225
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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nickbeyer's page activity

Visits<b>Welshite</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 11:57am<b>Marblecakelolz</b> - the 04/11/2013 at 6:44am<b>TorisaurusRexxx</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 12:24am

nickbeyer's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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nickbeyer's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned what live maggots in chocolate cake taste like. FML

#20606960
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49023) - you deserved it (7011)

On 04/20/2013 at 6:51am - misc - by MaggotMother (woman) - United States

Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML

#20601896
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52929) - you deserved it (8596)

On 04/18/2013 at 10:37am - love - by obnum - United States

Today, I was on hold with the cable company for an hour. When I finally got someone, I walked into the kitchen to where it was quiet and slid across the floor, falling on my butt and losing my connection on the phone. My 2-year-old son had sprayed the floor with nonstick cooking spray. FML

Today, after years of loaning my mother countless amounts of cash that never get paid back, borrowing $60 from her, and being just one day late paying it off due to food poisoning, she sends a very large man to my door to collect, like she's Tony Soprano. FML

#20601228
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44693) - you deserved it (4449)

On 04/18/2013 at 12:01am - money - by some people's parents - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got ancestry DNA tests for my parents and myself. The DNA testing company informed me that I'm a 50% match for my mother but I share no DNA with my father. Apparently, both my parents forgot that they used a sperm donor. This insignificant detail has slipped their minds for 35 years. FML

#20600180
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45741) - you deserved it (2841)

On 04/17/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Flora (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the catchy Japanese song I've been obsessed with for the past week is actually about a dildo. FML

Today, I left my son with my husband while I went to the store. Ten minutes later, my dog was missing a large patch of fur, and neither of them can stop laughing. FML

#20599149
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38768) - you deserved it (7455)

On 04/17/2013 at 11:14am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, in my psychology class we were covering OCDs. I have an issue with creased paper and my best friend brought it up, so for the next hour my class mates sat screwing up paper to see how long I could continuously have a panic attack. FML

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

#20598564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65576) - you deserved it (12603)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I admitted to my parents that I'm a pathological liar and I would like to go get help. They didn't believe me, and told me stop making stuff up. FML

Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML

#20597356
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46650) - you deserved it (8874)

On 04/16/2013 at 7:23pm - misc - by S. Fancyson - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML

#20596513
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57726) - you deserved it (4746)

On 04/16/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by fucklife - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch my penis. FML

#20596452
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68435) - you deserved it (17840)

On 04/16/2013 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by Gurior - Canada

Today, for the fifth time since my parents got divorced, my father has decided he doesn't want to pick me up for his weekend because I'm "too responsible to have fun with." FML

#20596320
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40004) - you deserved it (5605)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:17pm - misc - by ouch - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML

#20595753
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67267) - you deserved it (7154)

On 04/16/2013 at 3:23am - love - by guess I'm stuck - United States (California)



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