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Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady hobbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on the 'door open' button but the doors closed. I got dirty looks from the people in the lift, only then did I realise I had frantically tapped the 'door close' button instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14175) - you totally deserved it (17379)
On 08/25/2009 at 5:17am - misc - by ElevatorThug (man) - Singapore
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39409) - you totally deserved it (9121)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States
I agree, your life sucks (34273) - you totally deserved it (4095)
On 07/26/2009 at 12:37am - intimacy - by PTKFML (woman) - United States
Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokemon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokemon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10121) - you totally deserved it (46874)
On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States
Today, the cops showed up to check out a child abuse complaint, I then had to spend an hour explaining that I had given my son a suppository. The neighbors heard him sobbing hysterically "Daddy, why did you put that in my butt? It hurts." My neighbor had heard and thought I was raping my son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53950) - you totally deserved it (2299)
On 06/24/2009 at 5:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, after masturbating in the shower, I heard my phone go off outside the bathroom. After my mom saw me get my phone to check my messages she said "I think you're addicted to that", to which I said "but it feels so good and every guy does it." She was talking about how I text people a lot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7616) - you totally deserved it (45926)
On 06/07/2009 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Jon (man) - United States (Illinois)
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