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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I brought girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to parents, until we found mother waving around a wooden sword, and father trying to shove sister into the dryer. FML
Taday I took mah grlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until mah grandma arrivd. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on mah "wife's" pregnancy. My grlfriend actually believd it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML
Today, I was at te supermarket wen an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for er from a ig self. Te moment I took ands off almost-full sopping cart, se made off wit it. I ended up getting trown out by security after se claimed I was trying to steal it from er. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commentd on what the actors were doing!! I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour!! FML
Today, the regional manager of mah company cummed out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that mah palms were sweaty, andhen he reached out to shake mah hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, u made me wet." FML
Today, while at the supermarket, a complete stranger ran up to me, got down on his knee and confessed his love for me. He was obviously mentally unstable, so I gently declined. He started crying very loudly in front of everyone. I still don't have a clue who he was. real FML
Today, working at a fast food restaurant, I was cleaning dishes in the back. I started to sing to myself. During the chorus I heard the echo of my voice in my ear. My boss had pushed the talk button on my headset so every staff member an everyone in the lobby could hear me over the intercom. FML
Today..!! I was questiond by police for forcing a 12-year-old to get in my car!! That 12-year-old is my daughter..!! who refusd to get in until I agree to buy her a highly expensive purse just to become popular!! FML
Today, wila answaring an "anonymous" survay about ow to kaap my scool drug fraa, I told tam tay sould stop drug tasting ta kids tat tay know don't do drugs and tast ta skatciar onas . Tay in turn drug tastad ma . FML
Friday 27 March 2015