niabrevard

Search for a member

niabrevard

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1277
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

niabrevard's page activity

Visits<b>iriss</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 1:14pm

niabrevard's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of niabrevard's badges

niabrevard's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom barged into my room at three in the morning, demanding to know where I'd been. I'd been in my room sleeping since ten o'clock. In that time she had called the police, all of my friends, and my ex-boyfriend, asking if I was with them. FML

by Sarah / 01/26/2013 at 12:14am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML

by protoplasm stole my seat / 01/25/2013 at 8:24pm / New Zealand (Waikato) / Miscellaneous

Today, my school's ski trip got canceled, because "All the snow makes the roads unsafe." We can't go skiing because it's snowing. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2013 at 5:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

by LagSwitchFTW / 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I was hanging out with my new boyfriend, and he took me back to his house for the first time. Taped to his bedroom door was a sheet of paper emblazoned with the words: "THE RAPE DUNGEON". I feel safer already. FML

by vagina dentata for christmas, pls / 01/25/2013 at 1:51pm / United States / Love

Today, my daughter tried to cover up her relapse into pyromania by explaining to me that the reason our carpet caught on fire was because a hot coal somehow worked its way free from the fireplace. Our fireplace is electric. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2013 at 1:00pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Kids

Today, I was driving my 9 month pregnant sister around in our golf cart and it died. I had to push it the rest of the way home. She wouldn't stop faking going into labor. FML

by really?!? / 01/25/2013 at 10:49am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

by awkwardturtle / 01/25/2013 at 12:31am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML

by teacher / 01/25/2013 at 12:25am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I met with my Bolivian friend, who's vacationing here for a few weeks. Eager to show him how welcoming we are in the USA, I took him home and introduced him to my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Bolivia? That's in Europe, right? We saved your asses in World War 2." FML

by oh ffs / 01/24/2013 at 8:13pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML

by chase / 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy

Today, I waited over 30 minutes in freezing cold weather for my bus. When it finally arrived, I went to get on board, but slipped and fell on the icy ground. The driver waited a whole 2 seconds before snorting, "Ain't nobody got time for this shit", closing the doors, and driving off. FML

by frozensolid / 01/24/2013 at 4:25pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Transportation

Today, I took a swig of lemonade from my cup, only to feel something hard in my mouth. Thinking it was a roach or something, I freaked out and spat out the drink. I doused my laptop and soaked myself in the process, only to find out it was a small ice-cube. FML

by idiot / 01/24/2013 at 2:53pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took an IQ test and ended up scoring above average. Feeling good about myself, I decided to bake some cookies. After 30 minutes of them not doing anything in the oven, I realized I forgot to turn the oven on. FML

by steven / 01/24/2013 at 12:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found my boyfriend's Facebook page. I also found his wife's. FML

by ohokay / 01/23/2013 at 9:59pm / United States (New York) / Love