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newburton13

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newburton13

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  • Number of visits : 8764
  • Number of comments : 748
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 55 posted

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newburton13's page activity

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Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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newburton13's favorite FMLs

Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML

#9797503
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17218) - you deserved it (40973)

On 04/11/2010 at 4:11am - intimacy - by junior - United States (Arizona)

Today, my shrink diagnosed me as severely depressive, due to a lot of stress and yells at home. After the session, my parents argued about whose fault it was and then went on to yell at me for being depressive and wasting their money. FML

#9647002
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40320) - you deserved it (3438)

On 04/05/2010 at 6:14am - misc - by blah. - Thailand (Krung Thep)

Today, fifteen minutes after dinner was served, my blind date says "It's good that you're smart. Not to be rude, but most girls aren't. I mean, at some point, I'm going to pull my dick out of your mouth and then it's good if you have something interesting to say." Check please. FML

#9643258
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41198) - you deserved it (7596)

On 04/05/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Hate2Date (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got dumped because I was on my period. Apparently he was pissed because I have one "like, every single month." FML

Today, I took my girlfriend of five and a half years to family dinner at a restaurant. After we all had finished dessert, I got down on one knee, pulled out my great grandmother's ring and proposed. The entire restaurant was dead silent. She looked around and then slowly walked out. FML

#9157665
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68791) - you deserved it (5913)

On 03/17/2010 at 11:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I learnt that the people I work with dislike me so much that they have a competition to see who can accidentally hurt me the most. How did I find out? A chef poured boiling water over my hands, and another shouted "50 POINTS!" FML

#9067691
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33782) - you deserved it (5954)

On 03/14/2010 at 5:09am - misc - by Cooky (man) - United Kingdom (Calderdale)

Today, my new neighbours came over to introduce themselves. I open the door to see my ex-husband, with a horrified look on his face, and his girlfriend. FML

#9029119
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30981) - you deserved it (1882)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:08pm - love - by abby0019 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had a strong feeling that someone was watching me as I was undressing to get ready for bed. I conspicuously moved to the door and threw it open to find my step-brother clearly spying on me. We are the same age, live in the same house three weeks a month and in the same English class. FML

#9006202
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26769) - you deserved it (2219)

On 03/11/2010 at 8:18pm - misc - by meowtickmeow - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a strong feeling that someone was watching me as I was undressing to get ready for bed. I conspicuously moved to the door and threw it open to find my step-brother clearly spying on me. We are the same age, live in the same house three weeks a month and in the same English class. FML

#9006202
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26769) - you deserved it (2219)

On 03/11/2010 at 8:18pm - misc - by meowtickmeow - United States (Ohio)

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert". Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

#8974087
382 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8743) - you deserved it (59887)

On 03/10/2010 at 4:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my parents took my laptop, cut the Internet, took my car keys and TV, and removed my bedroom door. Why? Because they thought the plant I was growing for my science project was a marijuana plant. Oh yeah, they took that too. My presentation is tomorrow. FML

#8965755
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32446) - you deserved it (2374)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:39am - misc - by Kevin - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was babysitting. Being kind, I went to grab their mail, while their 4 year old ate lunch. He locked me out, wrecked the house, and let me in right when he saw their car two hours later. I didn't get paid. I paid them. FML

#8944596
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25693) - you deserved it (8458)

On 03/09/2010 at 12:19pm - kids - by lockedoutbabysitter (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my roommate confronted me about my eating disorder. She described in length how emaciated my chest has become and how she wants to help. Except I don't have an eating disorder. My sternum is deformed and I have only recently become confident enough to wear low-cut tops. FML

#8940307
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33940) - you deserved it (2248)

On 03/09/2010 at 3:57am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)



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