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newburton13

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newburton13

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  • Number of visits : 10493
  • Number of comments : 752
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 55 posted

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Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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newburton13's favorite FMLs

Today, I was casually looking through my girlfriend's phone while she got ready, though she made me promise not to. To my confusion, I discovered that she had me listed as 'Saturday' in her contacts. There was also a Thursday, Friday and Sunday listed. I only ever see her on Saturdays. FML

#13520163
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43215) - you deserved it (9974)

On 10/20/2010 at 12:47am - love - by iprobablyhaveherpes - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, a little girl came up to me and asked, "Are you a boy or a girl?" I said, "I'm a girl of course!" She walked away, looking dazed and saying, "Whoa." FML

#13513832
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26169) - you deserved it (5430)

On 10/19/2010 at 5:23pm - misc - by lookslikeaboyapparently (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, in my college class, our teacher asked us what we wanted to do when we get out of college. I guess being a U.S. Marine gets you a lecture for the whole class to hear that I'm a war hungry pig, and should get a real job that requires a brain. My job field is Aircraft repair. FML

#13506521
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32153) - you deserved it (3937)

On 10/19/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by S3R1AL K1LL3R X - United States

Today, my boyfriend called and told me he had cheated on me with a minor. She is claiming rape and going to put him in jail. He asked me to help him pay for his attorney. FML

#13496641
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41207) - you deserved it (3531)

On 10/18/2010 at 8:03am - love - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I came home from work. I was really tired and told my son that I would make him dinner later. He called the cops saying, "Mommy won't feed me." FML

#13485553
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33299) - you deserved it (5537)

On 10/17/2010 at 12:52pm - kids - by Lauren Smith - United States (California)

Today, I proudly gave my grandma a picture I had drawn for her. She didn't seem thrilled with it, and afterwards the rest of my family seemed upset. Nobody could fathom why I drew grandma a picture of a graveyard for her 85th birthday. It was suppose to be a bridge. FML

#13479988
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24434) - you deserved it (6140)

On 10/17/2010 at 12:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my car door and window were broken when a thief broke into my car. Cost to repair the damage? $600. Increase to my car insurance premiums? $40 a month. What'd they steal from my car? A $0.98 chocolate chip cookie. FML

#13475038
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34908) - you deserved it (3061)

On 10/16/2010 at 5:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom rolled up the car window on my fingers. She thought my yelling and crying was because I was throwing a tantrum. I'm 26. FML

#13403115
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28179) - you deserved it (3553)

On 10/11/2010 at 3:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend told me it wasn't working out and he was breaking up with me. The reason? I have the same first and last name as a very unpopular girl, and he gets embarrassed when people mistakenly assume he's going out with her. FML

#13379120
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31224) - you deserved it (2887)

On 10/09/2010 at 2:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, in math class, I got an answer "wrong." The teacher yelled at me, then he realized that my answer was correct. Then he yelled at me for not correcting him. FML

#13375159
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30510) - you deserved it (2727)

On 10/09/2010 at 4:22am - misc - by jessii - United States (New York)

Today, I sit here in agonizing pain because of a scoliosis surgery. I have a bunch of painkillers that I need to suppress this incredible back pain. Looks like I can't take any. My mom has hidden them from me because she THINKS I need to be taken off them. I wish my doctor were here. FML

#13363376
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32023) - you deserved it (2318)

On 10/08/2010 at 6:31am - health - by lmastr64 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my sister and I got into an argument at a tennis court which ended up with her trying to run me over in the parking lot. I stepped to the side and hit her door, denting it. My parents expect me to pay for the damage caused by my sister trying to kill me. FML

#13357466
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28874) - you deserved it (3152)

On 10/07/2010 at 7:37pm - misc - by toyotasmash - United States

Today, I was sitting in my room watching TV when I heard my mother obnoxiously yelling for the dog. Minutes later she stomped into my room, swatted me over the head, and yelled at me for not answering when she called. She actually got my name mixed up with the dog's. FML

#13350448
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32732) - you deserved it (2596)

On 10/07/2010 at 12:21am - animals - by lindsey789 (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I asked my mom why she decided to be a parent. She replied, in all seriousness, "Everyone else was doing it." FML

#13321505
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25121) - you deserved it (3427)

On 10/04/2010 at 8:57pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

#13293107
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40315) - you deserved it (9446)

On 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm - kids - by blah blah daddy - United States (California)



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