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newburton13

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newburton13

2Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 16363
  • Number of comments : 766
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 55 posted

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newburton13's page activity

Visits<b>ChaoticGamer</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 11:07pm<b>Myorafield</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 11:43pm<b>mastorgaming</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 12:34am<b>lex1459</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 4:59am<b>loserface210</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 9:49pm<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 8:53pm<b>andres1419</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 12:10am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 9:32pm<b>carlfirebolt</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 4:21pm<b>alexisaurus</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 2:36pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 11:13pm<b>madison123xx</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 4:25pm<b>kukumber</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 6:51pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 2:52pm<b>taintedtruffle</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 11:35pm<b>EimP</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 8:12pm<b>KimmieHappyKat</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 12:51am<b>ArmenMM</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 12:43pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 5:13am<b>madison123xx</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:26pm

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newburton13's favorite FMLs

Today, I ran into one of my teachers from high school. When I told her I just recently graduated college and was starting graduate school in the fall, she said "you don't have to lie, some people just are not cut out for college. There is no shame." I wasn't lying, I graduated with honors too. FML

#15142777
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34734) - you deserved it (2806)

On 02/27/2011 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while waiting in line for the ski lift, the lady behind me kept stepping on my skis. Annoyed, I turned around and shouted at her "Get the f*ck off my skis!" Just as the last word escaped my mouth, I noticed that my skis were crossed and it was actually me stepping on them. FML

#15127985
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7451) - you deserved it (61274)

On 02/26/2011 at 4:36pm - misc - by bitchyskier - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got stuck in a small elevator. It started to violently judder up and down after I pressed the 'Help' buzzer. The man on the intercom wouldn't stop laughing at how my voice was jumpy from the juddering movements before he called for help. FML

#15019943
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27319) - you deserved it (2777)

On 02/17/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by stuckinalift (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML

#14974014
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33609) - you deserved it (12342)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:51pm - kids - by Mikabe (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

#14961230
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46374) - you deserved it (9277)

On 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm - intimacy - by Katrina (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I cut my finger deep on an envelope at work and started bleeding profusely. When I asked my co-worker for a band-aid, she told me to get back to work and stop making up excuses to try and hit on her. FML

#14932173
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32412) - you deserved it (3831)

On 02/11/2011 at 3:27am - work - by alliwantisabandaid -

Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML

#14921394
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12772) - you deserved it (37087)

On 02/10/2011 at 11:09am - misc - by Jaws (man) - France (Alsace)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by creating an account on Runescape; his favorite game. After finding him in-game, I started talking to him, not revealing who I was. After a while, I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He promptly said no and asked me for nude pics. FML

#14909703
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56064) - you deserved it (14555)

On 02/09/2011 at 2:22pm - love - by Samyett (woman) - United States

Today, I wanted to propose to my girlfriend, so I bought M and M's which I had customized with the words "Will you marry me?" on them. She ate them all without reading them. FML

#14895043
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45015) - you deserved it (14708)

On 02/08/2011 at 11:57am - love - by Username - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went to go use an automatic cart in Walmart because I broke my hip in January. They were all being used by morbidly obese people throughout the store. I asked a manager if she could get me one, but apparently their weight issues are more impeding than my broken hip. FML

#14873123
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39210) - you deserved it (3451)

On 02/06/2011 at 9:36pm - misc - by LimpMcgee (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was driving to work when I was almost hit by a teenage driver. I gave her the finger and shouted "F*** you!" making sure that she heard me. I then saw my boss glaring at me from the passenger seat. FML

#14855519
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16286) - you deserved it (40356)

On 02/05/2011 at 5:54pm - misc - by Zeco - United States

Today, I found out my dad ate my pet rabbit two years ago. He said he ran away. FML

#14847630
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51360) - you deserved it (4027)

On 02/05/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got chickenpox. I'm 28 and having chickenpox as an adult is excruciatingly painful. When I told my boss I wasn't going to be at work today because of chickenpox he replied, "That's the worst excuse I've ever heard. Adults don't get chickenpox." He then fired me. FML

#14832801
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42518) - you deserved it (2868)

On 02/03/2011 at 10:19pm - health - by Pox (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend finally got me to orgasm, for the first time in my life, after trying for months. He started laughing when I climaxed. I asked why. Apparently I look like an Down's Syndrome child when I climax. FML

#14830027
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40533) - you deserved it (6499)

On 02/03/2011 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by Embarrassed -

Today, I was rudely stopped in the park by a woman screaming at me for being a slut for having a baby so young. She got so worked up that she started swearing. Not only was I just babysitting for a friend, I am unable to get the toddler to stop swearing. FML

#14772330
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44880) - you deserved it (2963)

On 01/30/2011 at 9:46am - kids - by QuicksilverMaximoff (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)



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