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newburton13

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newburton13

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  • Number of visits : 11101
  • Number of comments : 752
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 55 posted

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newburton13's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of newburton13's badges

newburton13's favorite FMLs

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113782) - you deserved it (15297)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I'm in a relationship with a guy who yells at me everyday for things I didn't do, is in a dead-end job and is not attractive whatsoever, but I can't bring myself to break up with him because he would get to keep the dog. FML

#14195303
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13428) - you deserved it (47351)

On 12/13/2010 at 9:01pm - love - by blahblah (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad came up behind me with a pair of scissors, and pretended to snip away at my hair. I was sure he was joking, so I just sat there and didn't react. Later, I felt the back of my head and looked at my hand. Suffice it to say, I now have a large bald patch on the back of my head. FML

#14155752
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30764) - you deserved it (6077)

On 12/10/2010 at 4:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, while playing soccer, I was kicked so hard in the shin that my tibia snapped. The snap was so loud that even the audience heard. As we waited for an ambulance, my mom started yelling for me to get off the field so the game could continue. FML

Today, while playing soccer, I was kicked so hard in the shin that my tibia snapped. The snap was so loud that even the audience heard. As we waited for an ambulance, my mom started yelling for me to get off the field so the game could continue. FML

Today, I went to my local pharmacy. Walking in, the security guard rudely asked me what I was going to buy. I brushed him off and walked in. I was paying and told the cashier what happened. She said "Sorry, we get a lot of hobos, they tend to steal." FML

#14151481
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25668) - you deserved it (4559)

On 12/10/2010 at 6:37am - misc - by iamnotuseless -

Today, my husband ran at me, groaning like a zombie. I was so startled that I screamed, punched him, and started sobbing. Now he won't talk to me because this is 'the first step on the road of domestic violence'. FML

#14142147
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27324) - you deserved it (10439)

On 12/09/2010 at 12:15pm - love - by katy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas. This includes my one night stand who turned up outside my front door with a suitcase in her hand. FML

#14140366
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17531) - you deserved it (38634)

On 12/09/2010 at 7:31am - intimacy - by NeverDrinkingAgain - Canada

Today, I realized that before I can legally drink, I will have been married, divorced, and pregnant. FML

#14095149
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14023) - you deserved it (76424)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:04pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, while shopping, a few giggling girls came up to me and asked why I was wearing a dress in public. Highly confused, I didn't answer. When they walked away laughing, I realized they thought I was a man. I'm a woman. FML

#13987730
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32429) - you deserved it (3675)

On 11/26/2010 at 2:17pm - misc - by what (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, a car hit me. I didn't get hurt, but someone called 911. The old woman who had hit me got out of the car with no problem to look at me, and gets back into the car. When the police arrive, she pulls out crutches and said I made strange faces and made her hit me. I got blamed. FML

#13972453
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32905) - you deserved it (2217)

On 11/25/2010 at 8:28am - misc - by Tom -

Today, while at work, I got fired because I was 'hitting' on my boss's wife who also works in the same company. Since when does 'asking for paper clips' mean 'hitting on'? FML

#13971755
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28377) - you deserved it (2493)

On 11/25/2010 at 5:25am - work - by Peter -

Today, I celebrated my birthday. When asked last week, I said I wanted a keyboard. When I opened the present, my parents went into hysterics. It was an electronic Dora the Explorer keyboard. I've been studying music composition and theory for six years. They think my major's a joke. FML

#13967248
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31234) - you deserved it (5384)

On 11/24/2010 at 9:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my best friend was fired from the place we both work at because she's a bad employee. After they fired her she said, "If I go, I'm taking my best friend with me." So they fired me too. I actually liked that job. FML

#13958382
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33184) - you deserved it (3682)

On 11/24/2010 at 3:45am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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