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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, my five year old daughter told me that while I'm at work, daddy has his wrestling buddy Melinda over. She also said that they wrestle on the bed so that they won't get hurt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66885) - you deserved it (2416)
On 08/27/2009 at 7:57pm - love - by abercrombieef (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to get food, I was late so my friend ordered for me. I took a few bites and it was getting hard to breathe. I realized it's a bluebery muffin, I'm deathly allergic. I look to my friend, she was laughing saying she wanted to see if it was true. I just got out of the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56518) - you deserved it (3926)
On 08/27/2009 at 12:07am - health - by Hellohaileyexoh (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my husband and I decided to take a romantic trip to the beach. We got pulled over, and shortly thereafter he was arrested. Just so happens you can't miss child support payments for your twelve year old daughter without getting a warrant. He has a daughter? We've been married for 14 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53808) - you deserved it (2261)
On 08/26/2009 at 8:57pm - misc - by AreYouSerious (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I discovered a bunch of emails from my old account that weren't forwarded to my new one. Because of this, I missed a job offer and all the emails from my long distance boyfriend asking if he could visit. I still don't have a job and I broke up with him because he "failed to communicate." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13720) - you deserved it (34114)
On 08/26/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by technologyfail (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the park with my autistic son when I noticed a teenage girl imitating him by flapping her hands and walking on her toes. Fed up with children mocking my son, I went over and sternly lectured the girl's mother. Turns out, her daughter is autistic too and will be in my son's class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33073) - you deserved it (15640)
On 08/25/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I made a very pretty sunflower cake that I woke up incredibly early to make. It took me hours and a lot of money. It was for my grandparents anniversary and my whole family was invited. We only got to see the remains because the waiter gave it to the wrong family, and they ate it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34548) - you deserved it (1298)
On 08/23/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by sunflowercake (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth and laughed before she passed out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52971) - you deserved it (3139)
On 08/19/2009 at 6:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, at the gas station I work a lady called wanting to know the "password" and if I was okay. Thinking it was a prank I hung up. A couple of minutes later she called back, this time asking if I could see the cops outside and telling me I'd be alright. I saw four of 'em. I'd hit the silent alarm by accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10511) - you deserved it (26316)
On 08/19/2009 at 3:53am - work - by Keldar (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (56792) - you deserved it (2466)
On 08/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Amara1717 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my ex showed up at my door with chocolates and flowers. I've liked him since I was 13, starting dating him when I was 15. He proposed when I was 22. I am now 24, and yesterday was our wedding day. He didn't show. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58323) - you deserved it (2626)
On 08/18/2009 at 11:59pm - love - by Wowfmylife (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9648) - you deserved it (57196)
On 08/17/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by hunnydoll (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I showed up at work and a coworker pointed a gun at me. After twisting his arm and leveling his face into the wall, I found out it was a lighter. Now I might lose my job over his stupid joke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45303) - you deserved it (3783)
On 08/17/2009 at 4:02pm - work - by Fibericon (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)
Today, at a family gathering, my aunt asked me when I was planning to have children. I'm only 16, I laughed and said not for a while, definitely not until I get married. My family shook their heads, and ignored me for the rest of the day. Apparently, teenage pregnancy is valued in my family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50710) - you deserved it (2005)
On 08/15/2009 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my grandma went to get birthday gifts for my twin sister and me. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute? 'cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39456) - you deserved it (2782)
On 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by twingirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)
Today, I went to the school I work at, to set up my new classroom. I'm 5'1" and I was carrying a backpack full of fun educational posters. I also have a new boss. When we met for the first time he was yelling at me because "there were no students allowed in here yet." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38270) - you deserved it (2159)
On 08/13/2009 at 9:36pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)
Monday 20 May 2013
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