newburton13

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Offline (the 05/03/2016 at 1:20am)

newburton13

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 19381
  • Number of comments : 770
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 55 posted

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newburton13's page activity

Visits<b>itsalanis</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 12:00pm<b>ChaoticGamer</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 11:07pm<b>Myorafield</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 11:43pm<b>mastorgaming</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 12:34am<b>lex1459</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 4:59am<b>loserface210</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 9:49pm<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 8:53pm<b>andres1419</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 12:10am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 9:32pm<b>carlfirebolt</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 4:21pm<b>alexisaurus</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 2:36pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 11:13pm<b>madison123xx</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 4:25pm<b>kukumber</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 6:51pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 2:52pm<b>taintedtruffle</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 11:35pm<b>EimP</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 8:12pm<b>KimmieHappyKat</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 12:51am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 5:13am<b>madison123xx</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:26pm

newburton13's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of newburton13's badges

newburton13's favorite FMLs

Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2011 at 8:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was under a building overhang to avoid getting drenched by the rain while waiting for the bus. Apparently that corner is notorious for drug dealing, I found this out when a man angrily demanded his drugs and chased me half a block. FML

by DrugDeal / 06/08/2011 at 9:24pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my mom has notebooks with lists of everything she has bought for me ever since I was born. Apparently she is going to make me pay her back for all the money she spent on me once I'm an adult. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2011 at 12:35am / United States (California) / Money

Today, I was taking a nap in our country house. I was sick with a fever of 101.3. When I woke up, I see that my family had left to go back to the apartment. They forgot me. FML

by Sickinbed / 06/07/2011 at 6:27am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I just bought a car with all of my own money. Then, when I brought it home my dad informed me that my mom will be driving it to work every day. FML

by Username / 06/05/2011 at 11:29pm / United States / Transportation

Today, while babysitting I decided to play with a children's puzzle to pass the time. Fifteen minutes in I gave up. The kid then came over and put it together in less than five. There were only ten pieces. FML

by Username / 06/03/2011 at 10:04am / United States / Kids

Today, I received a phone call from my old boss asking me why I wasn't at work, to which I responded, "Because you fired me yesterday". He didn't say anything, and hung up. FML

by xmeatballx21 / 06/03/2011 at 5:57am / United States (South Dakota) / Work

Today, a customer had an allergic reaction to the almonds in the sundae I made for her. We're supposed to put the almonds on unless the customer asks otherwise. She complained to my boss that I'd poisoned her. FML

by Unemployed / 06/02/2011 at 12:40am / United States / Work

Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML

by aarone23 / 06/01/2011 at 9:30am / United States (Oklahoma) / Transportation

Today, I found out that the school principal takes all the money from the school fund raisers to buy herself donuts. I'd donated over $100. FML

by Golden~ / 06/01/2011 at 5:20am / Canada (Ontario) / Money

Today, while at work, a rather large woman came in and ordered a cheeseburger. When asking if she would like to supersize it, she took her purse, smacked me, and told me she wasn't fat, and how rude I was for calling her supersized. I was just doing my job. FML

by Me / 05/31/2011 at 2:49am / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, my girlfriend told me how she loves when I kiss her out of the blue. I don't have the heart to admit I only do it so I can get some peace and quiet for a few seconds. FML

by romantic84 / 05/31/2011 at 12:51am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought this was a good idea, until she went ballistic, began screaming and crying, and then stabbed me in the stomach with a ballpoint pen. I got banned from the mall. FML

by kingpin9219 / 05/30/2011 at 12:29am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I went to a restaurant and sat at the last available table, which had a seat available across from me. A cute girl approached and asked if she could sit down, so I said "Sure" and made some room. She then asked "You're leaving, right?" FML

by StatusSearch / 05/26/2011 at 7:36pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out my mom intentionally puts extra butter and oil in the food she cooks for me because she wants me to be fatter than her. FML

by fatteningmeup / 05/26/2011 at 10:24am / United States / Health