newburton13

Search for a member

Offline (the 05/03/2016 at 1:20am)

newburton13

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 21103
  • Number of comments : 770
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 55 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

newburton13's page activity

Visits<b>egnur_mas</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 9:03am<b>itsalanis</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 12:00pm<b>ChaoticGamer</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 11:07pm<b>Myorafield</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 11:43pm<b>mastorgaming</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 12:34am<b>lex1459</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 4:59am<b>loserface210</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 9:49pm<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 8:53pm<b>andres1419</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 12:10am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 9:32pm<b>carlfirebolt</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 4:21pm<b>alexisaurus</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 2:36pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 11:13pm<b>madison123xx</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 4:25pm<b>kukumber</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 6:51pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 2:52pm<b>taintedtruffle</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 11:35pm<b>EimP</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 8:12pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 5:13am<b>madison123xx</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:26pm

newburton13's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of newburton13's badges

newburton13's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I got asked on a date. I was later told we had to cancel. Why? My ex is parked in front of his house and he is afraid to leave. FML

by nolove4me / 06/29/2011 at 4:41pm / United States (Alaska) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of five years proposed to me in front of my entire family. He later confessed that it was part of a dare with his friends because, "There was no way you'd say yes." Guess who has to explain this to all my relatives? FML

by mavstrr1764847 / 06/27/2011 at 2:38pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML

by kaplwv116 / 06/26/2011 at 9:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend told me he was too busy studying for finals, but that he'd take me out another day instead. He later drunk-dialled me from a party demanding a lift back home. FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2011 at 7:36pm / United Kingdom (Devon) / Love

Today, my mom decided to do something new and borrowed some of my clothes. She's currently wearing a very small pair of short shorts and a very tight tank top. We're going to a very prestigious golf course and she won't change. FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2011 at 1:00pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss gave me a speech about my "motivation issues". I've been working for him for 2 months, the commissions I've made for him paid off his bills, so what are my motivation issues? I turned down his offer of a date. I have a boyfriend. He keeps asking. FML

by Leah / 06/24/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Work

Today, I couldn't prove my son has had chickenpox, so his school gave us the option of getting a potentially dangerous shot he didn't need, pay for an expensive blood test to show that he previously had the virus, or sign a waiver stating I'm a religious nut refusing medical treatment. FML

by CallMeJesusFreak / 06/23/2011 at 7:58pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, it was my first day at my new job. My new boss asked me if I was single. After telling him I have been happily married for 6 years, he fired me on the spot. FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2011 at 1:35am / United States (Idaho) / Work

Today, I was using the restroom when a little girl tried to open my stall. It was locked, so she slid under the door and tried to have a conversation with me while I was pooping. FML

by shyshy96679 / 06/20/2011 at 6:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at the DMV, I was told to push my forehead against a vision testing device on the counter to activate a blinking light. When nothing happened, the employee started yelling for me to push harder. I tried again, only to knock the whole thing into her. FML

by sabadaba / 06/19/2011 at 1:51pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, my boyfriend told me why he stood me up last night instead of coming over to visit. Apparently me telling him I couldn't wait for him to do naughty things to me turned him off, and made him feel like a piece of meat. FML

by Willow / 06/17/2011 at 7:32pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend smelt my penis after I got back from the gym. She was making sure it didn't smell like latex. I can't even go to the gym without her thinking I'm cheating on her. FML

by evomadrid24 / 06/16/2011 at 8:33pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML

by crushed dreams / 06/16/2011 at 2:20am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was in my family's hotel room taking a dump. The lock to the bathroom was broken so we had made a deal: when the door is closed, someone is using the toilet. The maid didn't know that. She punched me in the face because she claimed I scared her. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2011 at 9:37am / Denmark (Sjelland) / Miscellaneous