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newburton13

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newburton13

2Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 14718
  • Number of comments : 756
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 55 posted

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newburton13's page activity

Visits<b>carlfirebolt</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 4:21pm<b>alexisaurus</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 2:36pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 11:13pm<b>madison123xx</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 4:25pm<b>kukumber</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 6:51pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 2:52pm<b>taintedtruffle</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 11:35pm<b>EimP</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 8:12pm<b>KimmieHappyKat</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 12:51am<b>ArmenMM</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 12:43pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 6:29am<b>PierceTheSabrina</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 9:18pm<b>Hildy93</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 2:41am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 6:58pm<b>hi_mynaneisslec</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 3:12am<b>Rizzen</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 9:08pm<b>Fatwahhh</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 6:10pm<b>sammyjo06</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 12:27am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 5:13am<b>madison123xx</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:26pm

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You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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newburton13's favorite FMLs

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend told me he was too busy studying for finals, but that he'd take me out another day instead. He later drunk-dialled me from a party demanding a lift back home. FML

#16838665
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40112) - you deserved it (3921)

On 06/24/2011 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, my mom decided to do something new and borrowed some of my clothes. She's currently wearing a very small pair of short shorts and a very tight tank top. We're going to a very prestigious golf course and she won't change. FML

#16833815
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31640) - you deserved it (4690)

On 06/24/2011 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boss gave me a speech about my "motivation issues". I've been working for him for 2 months, the commissions I've made for him paid off his bills, so what are my motivation issues? I turned down his offer of a date. I have a boyfriend. He keeps asking. FML

#16827644
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29451) - you deserved it (2266)

On 06/24/2011 at 1:11am - work - by Leah (woman) - United States

Today, I couldn't prove my son has had chickenpox, so his school gave us the option of getting a potentially dangerous shot he didn't need, pay for an expensive blood test to show that he previously had the virus, or sign a waiver stating I'm a religious nut refusing medical treatment. FML

#16822119
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30390) - you deserved it (7257)

On 06/23/2011 at 7:58pm - health - by CallMeJesusFreak (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my first day at my new job. My new boss asked me if I was single. After telling him I have been happily married for 6 years, he fired me on the spot. FML

#16793164
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51895) - you deserved it (3659)

On 06/22/2011 at 1:35am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was using the restroom when a little girl tried to open my stall. It was locked, so she slid under the door and tried to have a conversation with me while I was pooping. FML

#16767931
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43402) - you deserved it (3685)

On 06/20/2011 at 6:42pm - misc - by shyshy96679 - United States

Today, at the DMV, I was told to push my forehead against a vision testing device on the counter to activate a blinking light. When nothing happened, the employee started yelling for me to push harder. I tried again, only to knock the whole thing into her. FML

#16745803
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29262) - you deserved it (3100)

On 06/19/2011 at 1:51pm - misc - by sabadaba - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend told me why he stood me up last night instead of coming over to visit. Apparently me telling him I couldn't wait for him to do naughty things to me turned him off, and made him feel like a piece of meat. FML

#16717127
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37488) - you deserved it (11126)

On 06/17/2011 at 7:32pm - intimacy - by Willow - United States

Today, my girlfriend smelt my penis after I got back from the gym. She was making sure it didn't smell like latex. I can't even go to the gym without her thinking I'm cheating on her. FML

#16700863
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45992) - you deserved it (9755)

On 06/16/2011 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by evomadrid24 - United States (California)

Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML

#16689937
508 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16814) - you deserved it (228024)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:20am - intimacy - by crushed dreams - United States

Today, I was in my family's hotel room taking a dump. The lock to the bathroom was broken so we had made a deal: when the door is closed, someone is using the toilet. The maid didn't know that. She punched me in the face because she claimed I scared her. FML

#16675127
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35456) - you deserved it (3101)

On 06/15/2011 at 9:37am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Sjelland)

Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML

#16600238
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28713) - you deserved it (7145)

On 06/10/2011 at 8:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was under a building overhang to avoid getting drenched by the rain while waiting for the bus. Apparently that corner is notorious for drug dealing, I found this out when a man angrily demanded his drugs and chased me half a block. FML

#16568817
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31038) - you deserved it (3182)

On 06/08/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by DrugDeal (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my mom has notebooks with lists of everything she has bought for me ever since I was born. Apparently she is going to make me pay her back for all the money she spent on me once I'm an adult. FML

#16556165
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51793) - you deserved it (3569)

On 06/08/2011 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a nap in our country house. I was sick with a fever of 101.3. When I woke up, I see that my family had left to go back to the apartment. They forgot me. FML

#16543151
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35371) - you deserved it (3433)

On 06/07/2011 at 6:27am - misc - by Sickinbed (woman) - United States (New York)



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