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newburton13

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newburton13

2Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 14653
  • Number of comments : 756
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 55 posted

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newburton13's page activity

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Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 5:13am<b>madison123xx</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:26pm

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newburton13's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my neighbors took it upon themselves to knock down the fence we shared, and putting up a new one. Thus fencing my pool into their yard. When I asked them why, he replied, "We thought you weren't coming back." I was gone for 4 months tending to my sister with breast cancer. FML

#17658715
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42931) - you deserved it (2232)

On 09/04/2011 at 2:09am - misc - by Pool-less - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML

#17649932
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33967) - you deserved it (3530)

On 09/03/2011 at 1:33am - health - by whatdidIdo (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML

#17649932
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33967) - you deserved it (3530)

On 09/03/2011 at 1:33am - health - by whatdidIdo (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I have been released from jail because my idiot friends decided to get me a surprise hooker for my birthday. Turns out "Candy" was actually an undercover cop. My friends ditched me. I was the only one arrested. FML

Today, I was in a restaurant with my fiancée for dinner. I commented that she had some food around her mouth. She responded with a lecture, then by throwing her hot bowl of noodles at me, before stomping out the restaurant. FML

#17634135
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27133) - you deserved it (4119)

On 09/01/2011 at 6:14am - misc - by Anonymous - China (Shanghai)

Today, in a queue to the ATM, a hot girl was standing in front of me. The girl's boyfriend grabbed her ass. She turned around and slapped me. FML

Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because 'it's chicken, not salmon'. FML

#17610443
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39374) - you deserved it (3568)

On 08/29/2011 at 4:33am - health - by SoupCanoe - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, while bitching some girl out for spilling coffee all over me, she looks at me with accepting eyes and says after I'd finished, "I can understand your anger, big girls like you get grumpy when they're hungry." FML

#17606800
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13836) - you deserved it (45183)

On 08/28/2011 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had an interview for an internship at an independent lawyer's office. Hoping to increase my chances of being hired, I dressed up sexily with a short skirt, high heels, and ample cleavage. Turns out his wife handles the interviews. FML

#17579225
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10036) - you deserved it (100035) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/25/2011 at 5:45pm - love - by santa_maria - Reunion

Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML

#17578977
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38110) - you deserved it (2785)

On 08/25/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I started my new job as a teacher. Worried about how I looked, I asked a coworker if I looked okay. She said, "You look fine. Just like a normal high school kid." I spent the next half hour convincing her that I was not a student, but a teacher. FML

#17569578
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26361) - you deserved it (3327)

On 08/24/2011 at 4:33pm - work - by Meagan smith - United States (Colorado)

Today, my obnoxious mother-in-law berated me in front of my husband's family for still working while pregnant. She says I'm harming the baby by not quitting. I'm only 4 months pregnant and I work as a nurse at a hospital. FML

#17556987
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29748) - you deserved it (2246)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:51am - health - by monsterinlaw (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
409 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32776) - you deserved it (5996)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, I watched my neighbor bring his dogs into my yard to let them empty their piss-pipes and poop-chutes. He does this twice a day. I put a "cut it out" sign up. His dogs peed on the sign and knocked it down. My lawn is a landmine of dog logs and I don't know what to do, besides installing actual landmines. FML

Today, my brother told the family that if you pull on the dog's back foot then she always obeys. I later found my mom tugging on the dog's foot whispering "jump off a cliff" repeatedly. FML

#17531478
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28595) - you deserved it (2307)

On 08/20/2011 at 7:02pm - misc - by lala7 - United States



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