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newburton13

Offline (the 06/26/2015 at 7:02am) | Search for a member

newburton13

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13908
  • Number of comments : 756
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 55 posted

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newburton13's page activity

Visits<b>madison123xx</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 4:25pm<b>kukumber</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 6:51pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 2:52pm<b>taintedtruffle</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 11:35pm<b>EimP</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 8:12pm<b>KimmieHappyKat</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 12:51am<b>ArmenMM</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 12:43pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 6:29am<b>PierceTheSabrina</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 9:18pm<b>Hildy93</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 2:41am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 6:58pm<b>hi_mynaneisslec</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 3:12am<b>Rizzen</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 9:08pm<b>Fatwahhh</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 6:10pm<b>sammyjo06</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 12:27am<b>Fidge86</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 1:40pm<b>ImposterDitto</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 5:03pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 6:20am

Fucked!<b>madison123xx</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:26pm

newburton13's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of newburton13's badges

newburton13's favorite FMLs

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36277) - you deserved it (9875)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at the airport to pick up my mother since my baby is due soon. As she arrived, I smiled wide and opened my arms for a hug, but she walked right by me. Apparently, being pregnant makes me unrecognizable. My husband and I had to tell it her was me, her own daughter. FML

#17468026
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29968) - you deserved it (2705)

On 08/14/2011 at 6:34am - misc - by Motherly Love - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came home to find my house destroyed. I was so devastated, I cried. I had spent days hand-crafting the house to perfection, down to the finest detail. On Minecraft. FML

Today, I decided to prank my boyfriend by putting a pair of panties in his coat pocket. I stormed in and confronted him with the "evidence". I guess the prank worked; he broke down and confessed to cheating on me. FML

#17452928
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31402) - you deserved it (40177) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/12/2011 at 7:15pm - love - by Anonymous - France

Today, I checked into a hotel because my boss had assigned me to a new position. As soon as the reception lady looked up, she had me kicked out of the hotel. Apparently, one of the regulations is, "No prostitutes allowed." I was wearing a business suit. FML

#17440698
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30846) - you deserved it (4002)

On 08/11/2011 at 1:58pm - work - by Anonymous - Vietnam (Ha Noi)

Today, my husband declined a $100k/year job due to him thinking that a full time job at one work place would be too 'depressing'. I'm a nurse and have to wipe other people's arses for a living, then come home to this lazy dick. FML

#17416952
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45009) - you deserved it (8171)

On 08/09/2011 at 9:48am - work - by Lauren - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my husband declined a $100k/year job due to him thinking that a full time job at one work place would be too 'depressing'. I'm a nurse and have to wipe other people's arses for a living, then come home to this lazy dick. FML

#17416952
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45009) - you deserved it (8171)

On 08/09/2011 at 9:48am - work - by Lauren - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my husband declined a $100k/year job due to him thinking that a full time job at one work place would be too 'depressing'. I'm a nurse and have to wipe other people's arses for a living, then come home to this lazy dick. FML

#17416952
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45009) - you deserved it (8171)

On 08/09/2011 at 9:48am - work - by Lauren - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I finally noticed that my wife only shaves her bush when she goes on "business trips." FML

#17414090
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57099) - you deserved it (4617)

On 08/09/2011 at 12:59am - intimacy - by ksmith - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was getting my picture taken. The woman taking it told me to smile, so I did, showing my teeth. She said, "Please, be serious about this." Slightly offended, I smiled with my mouth closed. She then said, "If you can't be serious, we won't do this." FML

#17413633
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31501) - you deserved it (2807)

On 08/09/2011 at 12:01am - misc - by wow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife heard that wifi could be harmful for our newborn baby's undeveloped brain box. Her solution was to switch the wifi off on our laptops. She won't listen to the flaw in her plan. FML

#17411928
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27137) - you deserved it (2906)

On 08/08/2011 at 10:01pm - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, I went to my favorite all you can eat buffet. The cook tapped my shoulder and told me to stop eating. FML

#17410703
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26840) - you deserved it (14370)

On 08/08/2011 at 7:58pm - health - by Kathryn - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my son had sold his house key to one of his friends for half a packet of gum. Now there is someone out there who I have never met with full access to my house. My son is 16. FML

#17404140
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33610) - you deserved it (4875)

On 08/08/2011 at 2:45am - kids - by Jilly (woman) - Australia

Today, at dinner, I accidentally let it slip that I'd taken a small sip of alcohol a few years ago and hated it. My extremely strict parents are now trying to get me into rehab. FML

#17403916
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39194) - you deserved it (6922)

On 08/08/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by ApparentDrugAddict (woman) - United States

Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML

#17398167
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36623) - you deserved it (4582)

On 08/07/2011 at 3:43pm - intimacy - by Eddie (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)



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