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newburton13

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newburton13

1Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 12768
  • Number of comments : 753
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 55 posted

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newburton13's page activity

Visits<b>madison123xx</b> - 5 hours ago<b>kukumber</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 6:51pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 2:52pm<b>taintedtruffle</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 11:35pm<b>EimP</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 8:12pm<b>KimmieHappyKat</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 12:51am<b>ArmenMM</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 12:43pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 6:29am<b>PierceTheSabrina</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 9:18pm<b>Hildy93</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 2:41am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 6:58pm<b>hi_mynaneisslec</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 3:12am<b>Rizzen</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 9:08pm<b>Fatwahhh</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 6:10pm<b>sammyjo06</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 12:27am<b>Fidge86</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 1:40pm<b>ImposterDitto</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 5:03pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 6:20am

Fucked!<b>madison123xx</b> - just now

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You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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newburton13's favorite FMLs

Today, I was caught whacking off by my mother. She now takes every free moment of her time to read extracts from the Bible to me. FML

#17362990
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32757) - you deserved it (11474)

On 08/04/2011 at 2:00am - intimacy - by laughingflame - United States (Illinois)

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

#17344218
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32177) - you deserved it (2905)

On 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by scully11 (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my ex-boyfriend called to tell me that he had always made a point to eat some form of meat before making out with me. He'd known I was a vegetarian since the day we met. FML

#17338419
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29574) - you deserved it (8440)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:13am - love - by HaHa Not Funny (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my parents wouldn't let me go to the fair because they reckon my IQ is so low, I could quite possibly choke on cotton candy and pass out confused by the hall of mirrors. FML

#17335799
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25809) - you deserved it (5899)

On 08/01/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by vsf - United States

Today, our power went out due to some severe storms. My daughter, who is 18, asked me why the lights on the car still worked. FML

#17333376
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35834) - you deserved it (9030)

On 08/01/2011 at 4:18pm - misc - by OhDeary (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was having horrible morning sickness. I was violently throwing up, could hardly breathe, and was gasping for air between each round of puking. My husband, in the other room playing video games, snapped and shouted, "Why can't you just be quiet?!" FML

#17311021
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42208) - you deserved it (6143)

On 07/30/2011 at 5:06pm - health - by Ceej - United States (Illinois)

Today, after eating out with my boyfriend, we went for a drive, but ended up getting into an argument. I reached back to grab my bag and storm out of the car. He thought I was trying to take the restaurant's doggy bag and lunged at me. My boyfriend would rather save chicken than our relationship. FML

#17294621
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31228) - you deserved it (5921)

On 07/29/2011 at 2:56am - love - by Tallulah (woman) - United Kingdom (Croydon)

Today, I found out that when you kick another man in the snowglobes and he smiles at you, there's something creepily wrong. FML

#17292941
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33148) - you deserved it (6667)

On 07/29/2011 at 12:20am - intimacy - by FML (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML

#17233282
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52204) - you deserved it (6202)

On 07/23/2011 at 8:09pm - misc - by assante2010 - United States (Maine)

Today, I asked the girl I like to send me 'yummy pictures.' I got a picture of cheesecake. FML

#17213168
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11124) - you deserved it (97439)

On 07/22/2011 at 2:29am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend's overprotective parents decided that I'm a bad influence on their daughter. I'm a straight A engineering student who openly speaks out against drugs, alcohol, and discrimination. Their reason? Someone told them I dyed my hair black. They think I'm a "closet Nazi". FML

#17197650
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42425) - you deserved it (3740)

On 07/21/2011 at 12:10am - love - by rbeast (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has checked every girl he has ever slept with for 'vagina teeth'. I'm apparently no exception. FML

#17184971
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37382) - you deserved it (5409)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by knolan - United States

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

#17182524
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35445) - you deserved it (7312)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was riding on the bus, when I felt a weird sensation on my hair. The person behind me was petting it. FML

#17182266
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31536) - you deserved it (2825)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:29pm - misc - by imnotacat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, whenever I do something that the kid I am babysitting likes, he pats me on the head and says "good girl". I'm whipped by a seven year old. FML

#17177667
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27179) - you deserved it (7944)

On 07/19/2011 at 2:03pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States



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