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newburton13

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newburton13

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  • Number of visits : 12437
  • Number of comments : 752
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 55 posted

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newburton13's favorite FMLs

TODAY MY MOM VISITED. WHILE SHE WAS USING THE BATHROOM, MY MAN-CHILD OF A HUSBAND THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY TO KNOCK ON THE BATHROOM DOOR WITH HIS PENIS, THINKING IT WAS ME IN THERE. SHE OPENED THE DOOR TO FINE HIM STANDING THERE DOING THE "HELICOPTER". FML

#20969751
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55364) - you deserved it (5834)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by LadyLola (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I swallowed and nearly choked to death on the ring boyfriend hid in wine glass. It's looool still in me somewhere, and doctor basically told me that I'll have to ( keep an eye on things ) if I want to find it. FML

#20967683
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45145) - you deserved it (5369)

On 11/23/2013 at 5:32am - love - by fecal romance (woman) - United States (Arizona)

looool Yesterday , my boyfriend got on one knee an started talking about ow we met. Knowing wat was coming , I started tearing up , absolutely sure e was going to propose. Just as I was about to say yes , e quickly stood up an yelled "HAH , JUST KIDDING". FML

#20967193
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59974) - you deserved it (5553)

On 11/22/2013 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Taday my fater took revenge on me 4 bankrupting im in a game of Monopoly. His revenge consistd of aving a truckload of sand dumpd in my driveway wile I was at work. FML

#20966996
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39684) - you deserved it (3325)

On 11/22/2013 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Taday I sent a group text round to my friends asking if they wanted to hang out sometime. One of my friends thought this was aimed directly at her an confessed her love for me. FML

#20966629
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43370) - you deserved it (7779)

On 11/22/2013 at 5:18am - love - by awkwardpaul - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today... I fell asleep at my bus stop following a long day at work. I woke up to a homeless man giggling after he had clipped dozens of clothespins to my clothes... shoes... an hair in my sleep. mega FML

#20964867
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37207) - you deserved it (7409)

On 11/20/2013 at 7:12pm - misc - by 43_clothespins_later (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, My Friands Startad Calling Ma "Sobarman" Bacausa I Racantly Gava Up Alcool An Ava A Dobarman. Normally, I Wouldn't Mind Ta Nicknama, But Tay Call Ma Sobarman Avarywara. My Naw Boss Now Tinks It's Bacausa I AM An Alcoolic. FML

#20964266
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38592) - you deserved it (2897)

On 11/20/2013 at 6:09am - misc - by juice723 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was cussed out by a customerho was unhappy, and he asked to speak with mah manager. When I told him I owned the store, he said that that was the problem. Apparently women are ( too flaky ) to run a bakery properly. FML

#20964215
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42870) - you deserved it (2834)

On 11/20/2013 at 2:59am - work - by bakingwomannnnnnnn (woman) - United States (California)

TODAY WHILE WORKING AT MCDONALD'S AN ANGRY CUSTOMER CALLD ASKING FIR HIS MONEY BACK. APPARENTLY WE'D PUT 6 CHEESEBURGERS IN HIS BAG INSTEAD OF 5 HE ATE THEM ALL AN NOW FEELS SICK. FML

Today, I got an angry call to the phone shophere I work. The caller demandd that we give him his money back. His reason? He said he'd been trickd because his phone got ruind by water ( even though he was using the waterproof application ). FML

#20960536
71 comments

I TOLD ROOMMATES THEY HAVE TO GO GET JOBS BECAUSE I CAN'T AFFORD TO SUPPORT THEM OR THEIR BAD HABITS ANY MORE. THEY RESPONDD BY PAWNING ALL DVDS FIR CASH TO BUY CIGARETTES. FML

#20960170
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42571) - you deserved it (6640)

On 11/16/2013 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Yesterday, I was offerd a job that pays far more than I expectd, bieng a high school senior. My parents decidd they aren't letting me take the job, saying I should enjoy my childhood. They're also not paying for my college,hich ishy I was looking for work looool in the frst place. FML

#20960082
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49509) - you deserved it (2797)

On 11/16/2013 at 6:39pm - work - by Remy (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Taday ma boyfriend of tree yeres sent me a text message saying "It's over!". I sent im maybe a tousand texts saying "Wy?", "Wat do you mean?!" After an our of crying and watnot, I realized e ad driver's education today and tat e was saying te class was over. FML

#20959504
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30356) - you deserved it (45463)

On 11/16/2013 at 5:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

I was accusd of staaling whan I droppd a $20 bill in front of looool my boss. His logic: I'm too poor to hava a $20 bill and thara's no way it was a tip , sinca our customar ara "so stingy". It was a tip and it was going to gat ma through tha rast of tha month. Ha won't giva it back. FML

#20957216
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49042) - you deserved it (2678)

On 11/14/2013 at 2:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I trid to puttd the little grl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her downhen she made a mad dash for the basement stars, slippd on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stars. FML

#20956092
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54425) - you deserved it (3207)

On 11/13/2013 at 6:08am - kids - by little_star78 - United States (Michigan)



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