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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42499) - you deserved it (4745)
On 05/11/2013 at 5:19pm - kids - by failure as a parent (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I saw my ex husband walking with his very beautiful, very pregnant wife. We divorced 7 months ago because he told me he was gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62989) - you deserved it (4144)
On 05/11/2013 at 9:32am - misc - by stephscort - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my brother's friend was about to drive home drunk, so I convinced him to think and not be stupid. It wasn't an invitation to puke on my floor then try to crawl into bed with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37269) - you deserved it (4668)
On 05/11/2013 at 5:52am - misc - by GaveAnInchTakeAMile (woman) - United States
Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70801) - you deserved it (4243)
On 05/11/2013 at 2:25am - love - by tdrtnlz - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, I found out I have something in common with three other girls. We all have the same boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49763) - you deserved it (4308)
On 05/11/2013 at 12:01am - love - by Bridget - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mother and I got into an argument, and she told me to go to my room. I refused, prompting her to slap the shit out of me. I'm 29, and she was visiting me at my own house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51112) - you deserved it (5094)
On 05/10/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, my husband angrily accused me of cheating on him. It turns out he thinks that because I've been spending time with my brother recently, the two of us must be having some kind of incestuous affair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42867) - you deserved it (3118)
On 05/10/2013 at 3:01pm - love - by paintfarts1976 (woman) - Ireland (Westmeath)
Today, a client refused to pay after I mowed her lawn. Her reasoning? I had entered her basement "without permission." I require on-site equipment be provided, and she kept her mower in her basement. I only knew it was in the basement because she'd showed me, and told me where the key was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44219) - you deserved it (2632)
On 05/10/2013 at 4:24am - work - by Wealthyparrot (man) - United States
Today, I was questioned by police for forcing a 12-year-old to get in my car. That 12-year-old is my daughter, who refused to get in until I agree to buy her a highly expensive purse just to become popular. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46138) - you deserved it (5578)
On 05/09/2013 at 9:41pm - kids - by brokedad - United States
Today, my boyfriend bought me a silver necklace. I have a silver allergy, but I thanked him anyway and encouraged him to return it. I found out later that he knew about my allergy all along and bought it on purpose so he could return it, get a refund, and still look good. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50301) - you deserved it (3820)
On 05/09/2013 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Oslo)
Today, my ex-wife, whom I divorced just 8 months ago, asked me to attend her wedding, because "it would mean a lot" to her. She's marrying the man she cheated on me with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43397) - you deserved it (2352)
On 05/09/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I had my college graduation ceremony. As I was walking across the stage, some asshat, in front of over 55,000 students and staff, brazenly ran across the stage, snatched my diploma up out of the president's hand, and ran off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50239) - you deserved it (3139)
On 05/09/2013 at 6:11am - misc - by Uwrongfodat (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boss asked me to read through a document. I gave my feedback, saying it seemed like it had been written by an 8-year-old. Turns out it was in fact written by him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36755) - you deserved it (13076)
On 05/08/2013 at 12:59pm - work - by anon_1996 - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 7 years with another woman. He panicked and blamed it on the "long distance" and how we "never see each other". We've lived in the same neighbourhood since we were 5 years old, and we've lived together for the past four years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56084) - you deserved it (3254)
On 05/08/2013 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by lalalaisling - Ireland (Cork)
Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53508) - you deserved it (3670)
On 05/08/2013 at 10:44am - intimacy - by oops - Canada (Alberta)
Friday 24 May 2013
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