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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I was visiting my daughter, whose husband was still asleep at noon. I made a point of stomping around on the hardwood floor and speaking loudly to wake his lazy ass up. Turns out he's now working a 14-hour graveyard shift, and it has no negative effect on his shoe-throwing skills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3753) - you deserved it (63106)
On 12/06/2012 at 2:23pm - misc - by mom (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, I got punched in the face after a stranger asked for a light, didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette. Now my nose looks worse than his. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12629) - you deserved it (2280)
On 12/06/2012 at 6:30am - misc - by chinousmc - United States (Florida)
Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13080) - you deserved it (3648)
On 12/06/2012 at 3:24am - misc - by whaleninjapoop - United States (North Carolina)
Today, at school, I have to do a 45 minute presentation with a girl who has panic attacks so bad that she cries, runs out of the room, and sometimes passes out. This presentation terrifies her and it's a major part of my final grade. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16949) - you deserved it (1363)
On 12/05/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by Murlocmurk - United States
Today, I bought my son a nice car for his 18th birthday. When I gave it to him, he just got mad and told me that if I really wanted to spend that much money on him, I should've used it to help him pay for college. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11039) - you deserved it (35890)
Today, I ran into my high school crush at Target. When I asked her if she remembered me, she patted me on the head, said, "Unfortunately," and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17259) - you deserved it (1903)
On 12/04/2012 at 8:06pm - misc - by Likian5 (man) - United States
Today, while at work taking notes on a pad of paper, my boss witnessed me trying to scroll down on the paper, as if it was a touch-screen phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4666) - you deserved it (21222)
On 12/04/2012 at 12:16pm - work - by mdg (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my girlfriend showed me a print of a Banksy that she'd just bought, telling me it was an original. When I tried to argue that it wasn't, she broke up with me for "implying she was a moron." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13308) - you deserved it (1651)
On 12/04/2012 at 11:17am - love - by Single (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)
Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31154) - you deserved it (2170)
On 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by karmamaybe - United States (South Dakota)
Today, my son turned 8. We watched as he unwrapped a $55 Nerf gun, extra 'bullets', new shoes and a school bag with his favorite TV character on the front and a action figure inside. As he finished he looked me straight in the eyes and says, "That's great ma, but seriously what'd you get me?". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24279) - you deserved it (8095)
On 12/02/2012 at 3:19am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I brought a boy over to my house to help with a history project. My mom suddenly swooped in and bombarded him with questions about his and my sex life, and how she wants to have exactly four grandchildren. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18247) - you deserved it (1189)
On 12/01/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, because I tipped our waitress at dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20116) - you deserved it (1628)
On 12/01/2012 at 12:59am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, my girlfriend confronted me for forgetting to take the trash out. At some point during the argument, I tried to calm her down, and the words "I should of" escaped my lips. She spent the next ten minutes calling me stupid and laughing at how my grammar goes to hell when I'm distressed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11938) - you deserved it (2869)
On 11/30/2012 at 2:30pm - love - by Gus (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I came home to my mother-in-law wearing the gold chain which I usually keep in a hidden drawer. I searched my drawer only to find out my chain was missing. I asked my mother-in-law if she took it and she keeps denying the fact that she stole it from me. My husband is on her side. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19021) - you deserved it (940)
On 11/29/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by elizabeth - United States (Nevada)
Today, this really big woman asked me for some cigarettes. I didn't have any, which made her angry. Angry enough to pick me up, stuff me in a dumpster, and sit on the lid. I still smell like garbage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19358) - you deserved it (1312)
On 11/28/2012 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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