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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, my best friend told me about a vicious rumor that's going around, saying I contracted a horrible STD. I asked her if she told everyone it was a lie. She said no, because the rumor is apparently "way too funny to ruin." Maybe it's time for new friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20764) - you deserved it (1764)
On 12/13/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Katie (woman) - United States
Today, while my mother was driving me to school, her coffee started to spill. So like a normal parent, she held it over my lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18295) - you deserved it (1191)
On 12/13/2012 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, one of the girls who has made it her job to ruin my life cornered me in the hallway at school. She tried to insult me, and for the first time in my life I had a scathing comeback. My elation quickly ended when she violently shoved my face into the water fountain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22508) - you deserved it (1500)
On 12/13/2012 at 3:39am - misc - by ShadowReiku (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my mother told my therapist that I've been reverting to childlike behavior and she was worried about my maturity. She was worried because I screamed hysterically after dropping a pot of boiling noodles on my lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18712) - you deserved it (1027)
On 12/13/2012 at 3:31am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while picking up a birthday cake, I was screamed at by an upset woman for getting special attention from the bakers, and that I was nothing more than an attention-hogging slut. The bakers are my co-workers and I was picking my cake up on my day off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17014) - you deserved it (956)
On 12/12/2012 at 10:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31124) - you deserved it (1604)
On 12/12/2012 at 1:45am - kids - by LearnGeographyUSA (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my family for the first time. My mother's immediate reaction was, "We didn't know you were gay!" No mom, she really is a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21224) - you deserved it (1636) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 12/12/2012 at 12:29am - love - by Karim - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)
Today, the guy I'm dating found out I have severe arachnophobia. He downloaded a picture of a huge, hairy spider and set it as background on my iPhone. I can't even unlock my phone, as every time I try, the spider pops up and I drop the phone. He laughs every time I do it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21210) - you deserved it (3976)
On 12/11/2012 at 1:09pm - love - by skinnybitch (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, I smiled at a new kid and started a conversation with him, just to be nice. He later sent me 24 messages describing how strong his love for me is. I'm scared to go to school tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23208) - you deserved it (2278)
On 12/11/2012 at 3:39am - love - by you're just creepy. - Canada (Yukon Territory)
Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18819) - you deserved it (3642)
On 12/11/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Devil (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was doing a presentation in front of my boss. On the last slide, someone had put a picture of a man's cock. I later found out it was my boss who did it. It was his "good reason" to fire me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23124) - you deserved it (1232)
On 12/10/2012 at 9:05pm - work - by golfstar11 - United States (Georgia)
Today, I sent in an assignment from my batshit insane teacher. The assignment was to read a poem, analyze it, and make a comic of its plot. This would've been fine if the teacher who assigned it to me didn't teach math. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17619) - you deserved it (1083)
On 12/09/2012 at 10:53pm - work - by bestnameright - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, a senile old lady came up to me and offered me chocolate. I noticed that it was ex-lax, so I politely told her no. My 4-year-old daughter pushed me aside and ate the ex-lax, because she thought it was candy. I now have a stinky child on a 3 hour bus ride, with no stops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14761) - you deserved it (7346)
On 12/09/2012 at 11:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I came home to find all of the wood in my house either broken or gone. On the now legless table there was a note from my mother, saying that she needed the wood to build a boat, and that I will thank her when the world ends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21943) - you deserved it (1224)
On 12/09/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by woodless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I realized the dress I bought yesterday still had the security tag on. I returned to the store to get it removed, only to realize my receipt was misplaced. The lady at the counter thought I stole it, called security, and had me escorted out, dress-less. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20182) - you deserved it (2570)
On 12/08/2012 at 12:12pm - money - by bitchsawmebuyit - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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