newburton13

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newburton13

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 17303
  • Number of comments : 770
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 55 posted

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newburton13's page activity

Visits<b>itsalanis</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 12:00pm<b>ChaoticGamer</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 11:07pm<b>Myorafield</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 11:43pm<b>mastorgaming</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 12:34am<b>lex1459</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 4:59am<b>loserface210</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 9:49pm<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 8:53pm<b>andres1419</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 12:10am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 9:32pm<b>carlfirebolt</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 4:21pm<b>alexisaurus</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 2:36pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 11:13pm<b>madison123xx</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 4:25pm<b>kukumber</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 6:51pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 2:52pm<b>taintedtruffle</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 11:35pm<b>EimP</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 8:12pm<b>KimmieHappyKat</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 12:51am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 5:13am<b>madison123xx</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:26pm

newburton13's FML badges

Santa Claus

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Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

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newburton13's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to visit my overly-posh mother for the first time in many years. Upon arrival, she kicked me out because my outfit did not follow the same color-scheme as her decor. FML

by wat / 09/20/2013 at 1:52am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my smartphone addiction reached a new level of pathetic when I checked my weather app to see if it was cloudy outside. There was a window right behind me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2013 at 2:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, a man at the comic book store I work at asked me if Spider-Man is based on a real story, and verbally abused me when, thinking he was joking, I laughed. He wasn't. FML

by some people... / 09/19/2013 at 1:35am / United States / Work

Today, after getting back from a year-long world trip, I nearly fell on my knees and cried when I saw boxes of Twinkies at my local gas station. Finding out they were back was the highlight of the year. FML

Today, I was uninvited to a bachelorette party. I wouldn't really care, if the party hadn't been for me, ahead of my wedding tomorrow. FML

by anonymous / 09/17/2013 at 1:52pm / United States / Love

Today, I met my birth mother. My dad won't talk to me, my mom won't stop crying and thinks I'm replacing her, and the rest of my family won't stop calling me a bitch. I'm 21, and I just wanted to meet the woman who pushed me head-first out of her vagina. FML

Today, one of my online friends told me he's bought a plane ticket, so he can come visit me. I've told him multiple times before that I'm uncomfortable with this idea, but he keeps telling me to stop joking, and reminding me that he'll have no other place to stay. FML

Today, I was standing in line at the grocery store waiting for my husband. After a while, I feel him kissing my neck, so I turn to tell him that it's not appropriate in public. It wasn't my husband. FML

by whyme / 09/12/2013 at 10:44am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, even after loving him unconditionally, my originally 340 pound morbidly obese husband, who within the past two years lost almost 200 pounds, left me because now, he "can do so much better". FML

by heartbroken / 09/09/2013 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my 16-year-old daughter burned all her baby photos because they were unflattering and made her "look fat". FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2013 at 7:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, a customer kept harassing me and threatening to sue me for all I'm worth because I wouldn't give her a free refill. Her reasoning was that it's "illegal" to deny people a free refill if there's still a little drink left in the cup. FML

by goshoveafuckingfrappuccinoupyourvagyoupsychocunt / 09/07/2013 at 5:43pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I got home from work and found my dog missing. When I asked my neighbor if she saw what happened, I saw my dog sleeping on her couch. She tried to say it was hers. FML

by GotMyBitchBack / 09/05/2013 at 7:02am / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend took me to a very elegant and expensive restaurant to celebrate our anniversary. When it came to the check, I volunteered to pitch in half, which he rejected by saying "I got it". Little did I know was that "I got it" was short for "I got your credit card". FML

by IGOTIT / 09/05/2013 at 3:24am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

by fml / 09/03/2013 at 2:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my obese son, who is on a health-mandated diet and exercise plan, gorges on junk food whenever he has the chance. His logic? "It won't make you fatter if you crap it out." FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2013 at 12:16am / United States (Nevada) / Health