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newburton13

Offline (the 06/26/2015 at 7:02am) | Search for a member

newburton13

2Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 13967
  • Number of comments : 756
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 55 posted

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newburton13's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - 6 hours ago<b>madison123xx</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 4:25pm<b>kukumber</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 6:51pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 2:52pm<b>taintedtruffle</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 11:35pm<b>EimP</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 8:12pm<b>KimmieHappyKat</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 12:51am<b>ArmenMM</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 12:43pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 6:29am<b>PierceTheSabrina</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 9:18pm<b>Hildy93</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 2:41am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 6:58pm<b>hi_mynaneisslec</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 3:12am<b>Rizzen</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 9:08pm<b>Fatwahhh</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 6:10pm<b>sammyjo06</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 12:27am<b>Fidge86</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 1:40pm<b>ImposterDitto</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 5:03pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - just now<b>madison123xx</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:26pm

newburton13's FML badges

Inception

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Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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newburton13's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML

#5220953
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32211) - you deserved it (12824)

On 09/13/2009 at 1:14am - misc - by footinmouth (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I threw an elaborate surprise birthday party for my boyfriend of four years. He thought we were going to a quiet dinner but when we arrived, thirty of his friends jumped out and surprised him. Instead of kissing me to thank me, he broke up with me because of how easily I had lied to him. FML

#5205782
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50123) - you deserved it (4406)

On 09/12/2009 at 12:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while at work I passed out due to my blood sugar not being normal. Despite the fact that it took 10 minutes to wake me, no one thought I was in any sort of danger. After the episode, I then got fired for "sleeping on the job." FML

#5176412
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40315) - you deserved it (2514)

On 09/10/2009 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was walking with my very attractive friend who I like a lot. She then told me that her roomate wouldn't be home tonight, and if I wanted, I could come over and study history. I didn't get it. I told her no thanks, that I was covered, and it was chem I needed to study. An hour later, I understood. FML

#5173603
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12603) - you deserved it (69614)

On 09/10/2009 at 7:17pm - love - by itisthedude (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years told me that I was part of an experiment for her Sociology doctorate. I also learned that the notebooks she's been writing in for the past three years aren't for her "doctorate in literature" as she had told me, they were notes on my behavior for the past 3 years. FML

#5166110
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51747) - you deserved it (3323)

On 09/10/2009 at 9:37am - love - by Dave (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because I hadn't popped the question to her yet. For the last six months, I have been respectfully trying to convince her over protective father to give me his blessing. FML

#5154166
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41894) - you deserved it (4410)

On 09/09/2009 at 7:11pm - love - by K-9cop (man) - United States

Today, I hired a private investigator to find out if my wife of 15 years is cheating on me with my brother. I don't know what's worse, that she is cheating on me, or that instead of cheating with my brother she's cheating with my brother's wife. FML

#5151842
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56284) - you deserved it (5106)

On 09/09/2009 at 5:20pm - love - by nick2.0 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML

#5148313
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (188890) - you deserved it (19982)

On 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realized I forgot to write a 5000 word essay for my English class. I tried to be calm since I had until midnight to finish, and it was only 8pm. I typed for three hours straight,and finished the assignment. I read over the instruction again, and realized it only had to be 500 words. FML

#5141524
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20590) - you deserved it (53935)

On 09/09/2009 at 12:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my mum grounded me for going to my boyfriend's house instead of the library. She said my boyfriend's mum phoned up because she could hear us having it off in his room. When I denied it my mum shouted at me for being a liar as well as a slut. I did go to the library. FML

#5103491
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80414) - you deserved it (3940)

On 09/07/2009 at 11:39am - love - by SingleGirl (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was fired from my job. I was a lifeguard and the other day a 30 year old man who only spoke spanish hit on me. I'm 16 and politely rejected him. He then went to the front desk and told them how I tried molesting him in the locker room. FML

#5082390
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44465) - you deserved it (2173)

On 09/06/2009 at 2:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while I was working in a bar, a very fat drunk guy kept flirting with me. He assumed I liked him because I kept blushing. I didn’t. It’s just been so long since anyone flirted with me that I apparently now cannot control my reactions if a man talks to me. FML

#5079880
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36586) - you deserved it (6356)

On 09/06/2009 at 11:04am - love - by beccaj_ilh (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I was going to ask this girl I love to homecoming. I set up a scavenger hunt, and my friend led her through it. At the end of the scavenger hunt I had a note that said, "Homecoming?" She said yes and hugged my friend. When I told her it was me who was asking, she laughed and said no. FML

#5058289
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44326) - you deserved it (9565)

On 09/05/2009 at 10:16am - love - by thisrllysucks (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, a customer came in who only spoke Spanish. I speak Spanish rather well so I helped the customer. She ended up buying $2300 worth of stuff. I got written up because not speaking English apparently "has the potential be offensive to other customers if they are not able to understand you". FML

#5033562
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55773) - you deserved it (3212)

On 09/04/2009 at 12:31am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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