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newburton13

Offline (the 09/02/2015 at 6:42am) | Search for a member

newburton13

2Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 14762
  • Number of comments : 756
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 55 posted

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newburton13's page activity

Visits<b>carlfirebolt</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 4:21pm<b>alexisaurus</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 2:36pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 11:13pm<b>madison123xx</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 4:25pm<b>kukumber</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 6:51pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 2:52pm<b>taintedtruffle</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 11:35pm<b>EimP</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 8:12pm<b>KimmieHappyKat</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 12:51am<b>ArmenMM</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 12:43pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 6:29am<b>PierceTheSabrina</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 9:18pm<b>Hildy93</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 2:41am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 6:58pm<b>hi_mynaneisslec</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 3:12am<b>Rizzen</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 9:08pm<b>Fatwahhh</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 6:10pm<b>sammyjo06</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 12:27am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 5:13am<b>madison123xx</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:26pm

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Inception

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Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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newburton13's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the coffee shop for my usual morning latte before class. When I got my drink, I asked again to make sure it was soy. The barista assured me it was. It wasn't. I'm ridiculously lactose intolerant and just spent six hours throwing up because she was too lazy to correct her mistake. FML

#5564287
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43356) - you deserved it (3599)

On 09/30/2009 at 11:12am - health - by sick (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned that if you're going to tell your mother you are gay, make sure she isn't holding a frying pan filled with hot grease. FML

#5530332
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58486) - you deserved it (13661)

On 09/28/2009 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had a meeting with the CEO about a promising job with good pay and benefits. Upon meeting, we immediately recognized each other. He was someone I used to make fun of in school all the time. He responded by refusing to interview me and had security throw me out by force. Karma bites. FML

#5527789
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9528) - you deserved it (111278)

On 09/28/2009 at 2:31pm - work - by SucksToBeMe (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I told my husband I wanted a divorce. He told me he didn't. End of discussion. FML

#5525273
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43941) - you deserved it (17302)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by jentown11 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a restraining order put on me. I have apparently been following a woman's daughter home after she leaves track practice and parking my car outside their home. I'm a math teacher at the school and leave everyday at 4:30. I have lived across the street for the past six years. FML

#5505995
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52140) - you deserved it (2352)

On 09/27/2009 at 1:24pm - misc - by stalker (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with the cliché of the diamond ring in a champagne glass. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer across the room watching me slip the ring into the glass. He thought I was slipping in a date-rape drug and tackled me down before I could propose. FML

#5494730
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51930) - you deserved it (4086)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a club with my friends. I noticed the bouncer looked at me strangely. Then he erupts and screams, "you're the bitch who caused havoc and £255 damage to the cloakroom, pay up or I'll call the fuzz!" Little did I know my 15-year-old sister stole my ID last weekend. FML

#5468497
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40878) - you deserved it (3038)

On 09/25/2009 at 4:24pm - misc - by busted (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was checking into a hotel with my boyfriend. A few minutes after we get to our room, the cops show up to our door asking to see some ID from the both of us. The hotel staff had called the cops on us because they thought I was underage and he was going to molest me. I'm 21 and he is 24. FML

#5419115
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40975) - you deserved it (2956)

On 09/22/2009 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my vegetarian housemate cleaned the fridge. He threw away all of the meat in our fridge and made a nice sign stating "Meat is Murder". I was storing roughly $1000 worth of filet mignon steaks and seafood for my sister's wedding. FML

#5416857
460 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64807) - you deserved it (5605)

On 09/22/2009 at 5:48pm - misc - by carnivore (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in class just taking notes and minding my own business. The teacher has already called my parents twice complaining about me. As we are taking 3 pages of notes she grabs mine and rips them up, saying that she is sick and tired of me drawing. I was drawing the graphs on the board. FML

#5408383
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48394) - you deserved it (3199)

On 09/22/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by wait..what (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was in class just taking notes and minding my own business. The teacher has already called my parents twice complaining about me. As we are taking 3 pages of notes she grabs mine and rips them up, saying that she is sick and tired of me drawing. I was drawing the graphs on the board. FML

#5408383
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48394) - you deserved it (3199)

On 09/22/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by wait..what (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got a call from a prominent orchestra asking me to play with them. They were especially interested because I'm still in high school. I called to accept only to find out that my mother had already declined the offer for me because I "only" have a 3.7. FML

#5403553
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45283) - you deserved it (2673)

On 09/21/2009 at 9:50pm - work - by bass (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my grandma picked up the phone. It was a man asking to speak to me. Instead of giving me the phone she decides to hang up on him, thinking it was some guy trying to "get with me." It turned out to be the call I've been waiting all week for... a call from a huge company about a job offer. FML

#5393061
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43732) - you deserved it (2529)

On 09/21/2009 at 1:08pm - work - by Unemployed (woman) - United States

Today, I was in my 15-year-old sister’s room when I found birth control pills. I told my parents, who responded by saying, "Sex is beautiful thing." When I was her age my parents caught me pleasuring myself, and smashed my laptop with a hammer, all while calling me "filthy" and "immoral". FML

#5375758
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56483) - you deserved it (9387)

On 09/20/2009 at 4:55pm - misc - by LovesHisHand (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my mom about the couple times that I'd skipped classes during high school. She got really mad and grounded me for a month. That would usually be normal except for the fact that I'm 27 and live in my own apartment. FML

#5343889
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36867) - you deserved it (5995)

On 09/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by 1357katie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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