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newburton13

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newburton13

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  • Number of visits : 7995
  • Number of comments : 747
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 55 posted

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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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newburton13's favorite FMLs

Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML

#6338943
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35395) - you deserved it (3882)

On 11/17/2009 at 6:16am - work - by Paramedic (man) - United Kingdom (Rochdale)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend whom I love dearly because he doesn't share his feelings and won't commit. Yesterday, he wrote me a long love letter telling me he wanted to marry me. One of my kids had shoved it under my printer and I didn't find it until after he had moved out. FML

#6335376
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31571) - you deserved it (9818)

On 11/16/2009 at 11:13pm - misc - by lynxstorm - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to a phone call from my boss' wife. She demanded to know how long we'd been sleeping together. When I denied her allegations, she screamed that she knew all about my "history of sleeping with married men". I'm a virgin and I have to work with him tomorrow. FML

#6335196
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29775) - you deserved it (1694)

On 11/16/2009 at 11:05pm - misc - by bad_day_in_hell - United States (Montana)

Today, I had a surprise birthday party thrown in my honor. All of my friends and family had been invited, and all of the details were perfect. Who threw the party for me? My ex-girlfriend who I dumped last week for "not being thoughtful enough." FML

#6333617
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6733) - you deserved it (49898)

On 11/16/2009 at 9:40pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was shopping with my baby daughter when an older woman came up to me. She glared and said, "You know, if you kids learned how to keep your legs closed, you wouldn't be a mother at 16." I'm 25. FML

#6288438
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37437) - you deserved it (3537)

On 11/13/2009 at 3:26pm - kids - by notateen (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I returned home for the first time in a year, and found my entire computer missing. I asked my grandma about this, and she told me that she threw "the TV" away because it "no longer responded to the remote control." FML

#6270812
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37469) - you deserved it (2666)

On 11/12/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by missmycomp (man) - Singapore

Today, I started talking to a friend about how he needs to stop overreacting and getting angry very easily. He kicked sand up in the air, and it came back into his eyes. He started getting angry, and when I told him this is what I was talking about, he hit me in the nose. FML

#6268731
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26376) - you deserved it (6757)

On 11/12/2009 at 1:58am - misc - by angrymadman3542342 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, everyone was telling me a girl I like wanted me to ask her on a date. I approached her, and asked if it was true. She said yes, but only because she wanted to reject me in person. FML

Today, I went on blind date with a guy because both our moms thought we'd like eachother. Things were going really well until I got up to go to the bathroom and he says: "My mom was right, you do have perfect breedin' hips!" FML

#6255110
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35634) - you deserved it (3601)

On 11/11/2009 at 7:21am - love - by Starchyld (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at school, I got stuck in the elevator and was about to panic before I remembered I had my phone. I called my mother and she called the school to tell them that I was stuck. They got me out in a few minutes and then confiscated my phone and gave me two detentions for using it in school. FML

#6252337
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47317) - you deserved it (2942)

On 11/11/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by noexceptions (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at a Remembrance Day service when an old widow told me I had my "grandad's" medals on the wrong side of my coat. I told her that I was an Afghanistan veteran and that they were mine. She then berated me in front of the WHOLE service for "lying". FML

#6251729
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39329) - you deserved it (2401)

On 11/10/2009 at 11:36pm - misc - by Danners88 (man) - Australia

Today, I was teaching a ten year old how to play piano. Halfway through the lesson, she made a minor mistake, which, trying to be a good tutor, I corrected her. She smiled up at me, paused, then slammed the key cover down onto my fingers. FML

#6245178
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35922) - you deserved it (2987)

On 11/10/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by PiaNO (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my roommate's boyfriend told me he would be driving the several hours EVERY weekend to come see his girlfriend. As a couple, they are constantly all over each other, and can't seem to break out of the annoying baby talk voice. Plus, they like to kick me out of the room to do stuff. FML

#6242295
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27620) - you deserved it (5202)

On 11/10/2009 at 12:04pm - misc - by ughhhh (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a letter in the mail saying I'm being sued by the guy that broke into my house last week. When I walked in and saw him, I tackled him, punched him in the face a time or two, and restrained him with zip ties. I now have to pay for his broken nose and face charges of assault. FML

#6195343
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46515) - you deserved it (4227)

On 11/07/2009 at 12:01pm - misc - by ShouldHaveLetHimTakeTheTV (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got a letter in the mail saying I'm being sued by the guy that broke into my house last week. When I walked in and saw him, I tackled him, punched him in the face a time or two, and restrained him with zip ties. I now have to pay for his broken nose and face charges of assault. FML

#6195343
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46515) - you deserved it (4227)

On 11/07/2009 at 12:01pm - misc - by ShouldHaveLetHimTakeTheTV (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



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