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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
I agree, your life sucks (23755) - you deserved it (1347)
On 06/19/2013 at 11:29am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, my daughter believed that watching the Big Bang Theory would count as studying for her chemistry final. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22754) - you deserved it (3303)
On 06/18/2013 at 7:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my sister came to stay with me in my apartment for the last few weeks of her difficult pregnancy. However she didn't tell me she was bringing her two dogs, her jackass of a husband, my bratty nephew and an inflatable kiddie pool so she could have a natural water birth in my living room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30314) - you deserved it (2640)
On 06/18/2013 at 6:48pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my parents took my iPad back to the store and exchanged it for two cheap knock off tablets. Reason being my little brother threatened to run away because I had one and he didn't. I bought the iPad on my own after graduation. They kept the difference in price. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39380) - you deserved it (2165)
On 06/18/2013 at 2:34am - kids - by evilmuffinlord (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I started my new job as a cashier for a drugstore. As I scanned some children's medicine for a family, I gave the girl a tissue because her nose was running. Later, my boss sat me down and told me there had been a complaint about a "female pedo-employee". I'm the only woman working there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29605) - you deserved it (1638)
On 06/17/2013 at 8:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39845) - you deserved it (24394)
On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)
Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46282) - you deserved it (4030)
On 06/17/2013 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my daughter had ice cream while I was napping. She didn't want me to know so she put the bowl in the trashcan and put the spoon in the garbage disposal and turned it on, because she thought it would make the spoon disappear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32360) - you deserved it (4050)
On 06/17/2013 at 12:33am - kids - by cherbear1000 - United States (Maryland)
Today, my daughter found out what happens when my husband watches Mythbusters and doesn't heed the disclaimer to "Not try this at home." He feels bad about her cut face, but says he's proud he can throw a playing card that hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30383) - you deserved it (2316)
On 06/16/2013 at 7:58pm - kids - by Married2handsome - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend of 2 months broke up with me after finding out that I reload my own shotgun shells and I shoot competitively. His reasoning? He didn't want to date a "cheap and dangerous woman." Seriously? FML
I agree, your life sucks (29678) - you deserved it (3459)
On 06/16/2013 at 7:48pm - love - by kiss98367 (woman) - United States
Today, I woke up to my bratty younger sister cutting through my hair with a pair of scissors. I now look like a freak, and my mum bitched me out for being angry, all because my sister claimed she'd been sleep-walking. Her demented smirk said otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38681) - you deserved it (2068)
On 06/16/2013 at 2:49pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (40878) - you deserved it (6171)
On 06/15/2013 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by woof woof?? (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (40878) - you deserved it (6171)
On 06/15/2013 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by woof woof?? (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I woke up at 5:30 and made the half hour drive to work only to find out that it was my day off. After finally getting back home and into bed, my boss called, requesting that I come back to work since I was "already up". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40115) - you deserved it (5153)
On 06/15/2013 at 1:41am - work - by Shitty Boss Shitty Job - United States (Iowa)
Today, my son visited for the first time in three years, asking to stay a while. It turns out he insulted someone online and gave his address in case they wanted to fight him. They accepted the offer, and so my son's imaginary Muay Thai skills went AWOL, along with his testicles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33961) - you deserved it (3510)
On 06/14/2013 at 6:12pm - kids - by I fathered a pussy. (man) - United States (Florida)
Monday 17 June 2013
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