About netdemon : Apparently, I suck at life...
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Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42038) - you deserved it (18793)
On 05/17/2011 at 1:34pm - money - by anonymous - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I got a boner in the MRI machine while my pelvic bone was being scanned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39981) - you deserved it (6915)
On 05/17/2011 at 6:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Finland (Southern Finland)
Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35582) - you deserved it (15883)
On 05/09/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by coldwetnose (woman) - United States
Today, I locked myself in the bathroom and started spanking the ferret. I started to get really into it when my dad started pounding on the door and yelled, "Son, that's great staying power, but can you finish up already?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (10430) - you deserved it (36021)
On 05/06/2011 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Saudi Arabia
Today, my identical twin sister got in trouble for sneaking out of the house to see her boyfriend. My father decided to ground both of us, because it would be "too confusing" for him otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51474) - you deserved it (3595)
On 05/05/2011 at 5:04pm - kids - by Monika (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34505) - you deserved it (3003)
On 05/02/2011 at 9:51am - health - by megomania (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was awakened in the middle of the night by a frantic banging on my front door. It was a guy whom I'd only been dating a few weeks, with a suitcase. He stated that his wife kicked him out for having an affair, and thought now would be a good time to move in together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31675) - you deserved it (10956)
On 04/28/2011 at 2:22am - love - by ummno (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. My husband, the father of the baby, got a birdie on the golf course at the exact same time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35728) - you deserved it (3899)
On 04/27/2011 at 1:07pm - love - by Sammy - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57126) - you deserved it (5789)
On 04/27/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9933) - you deserved it (28439)
On 04/27/2011 at 9:35am - kids - by BadgerSpirit (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my wife bought $80 worth of Glee songs on iTunes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44261) - you deserved it (7712)
On 04/26/2011 at 9:20pm - money - by Chad - United States
Today, I stepped outdoors for a minute. The wind blew the door shut, locking me outside. I've spent the last two hours pounding frantically on the windows, trying to wake my 4 year old son who is inside. I can see him sleeping soundly on the couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20457) - you deserved it (4073)
On 04/26/2011 at 7:11pm - misc - by gottapee (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, on a first date, I finished eating my sushi, feeling proud to have managed chopsticks so elegantly and then rubbed my eye, oblivious to the fact I had just touched some wasabi. What followed was a classy exhibition on how to jump around screeching in pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10383) - you deserved it (16014)
On 04/26/2011 at 6:25pm - misc - by Jyocka (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37692) - you deserved it (4310)
On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)
Today, I lied to my diary about my weight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17610) - you deserved it (34981)
On 04/26/2011 at 9:56am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)
Monday 17 June 2013
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