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netdemon

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netdemon

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 10 June 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3400
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About netdemon : Apparently, I suck at life...

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netdemon's favorite FMLs

Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML

#16449288
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67208) - you deserved it (3733)

On 06/01/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by aarone23 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

#16399874
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60349) - you deserved it (12616)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML

#16383481
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15371) - you deserved it (57100)

On 05/28/2011 at 5:24am - intimacy - by redhanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend convinced me to sneak out. As I was climbing out of my 3rd floor window, he got a text and moved the ladder. Now I'm in the hospital with two broken ribs. FML

#16382650
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21156) - you deserved it (32840)

On 05/28/2011 at 2:45am - love - by epicfail (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was really psyched to go see Kung Fu Panda 2 at the movies. Excited, I tried to do a flying kick off the cafeteria wall at work. Instead of kicking off, my leg crashed through the plasterboard and got stuck. My co-workers had to pull me free. FML

#16377844
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8353) - you deserved it (47896)

On 05/27/2011 at 8:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I drove my boyfriend to hospital because he felt extremely ill. His buddies had gotten their hands on a taser, and he had the brilliant idea of being shot as part of a Youtube stunt video. Now I have an empty gas tank and have to clean up a puddle of vomit in my living room. FML

#16377162
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26483) - you deserved it (3296)

On 05/27/2011 at 8:04pm - misc - by moron - United States

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML

#16354230
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38411) - you deserved it (22111)

On 05/26/2011 at 5:55am - intimacy - by Motionless (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

#16339516
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51980) - you deserved it (17619)

On 05/25/2011 at 4:23am - intimacy - by katie -

Today, my boss called me into his office. Expecting a long overdue promotion, I hurried in. Instead, he told me he thought I would be perfect to take his son on a pity date, because he is at a suicide risk from depression. FML

#16338194
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32827) - you deserved it (3096)

On 05/25/2011 at 1:21am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, I went to a friend's wedding. While I was holding my four year old son, he managed to unclip the back of my dress and give the whole church a show. FML

#16334194
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34173) - you deserved it (4409)

On 05/24/2011 at 9:34pm - kids - by OhDear (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML

#16331288
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53240) - you deserved it (8677)

On 05/24/2011 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by asnolt (man) - United States (California)

Today, while I was mowing the lawn in my backyard, I ran over a glass bottle. My legs looked like a disco ball. FML

#16325650
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35604) - you deserved it (8678)

On 05/24/2011 at 8:33am - health - by tash (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60827) - you deserved it (10456)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, my crush and I were talking on the phone and we were really hitting it off. We got on the subject of sex and I told him I have a purity ring. Then he suddenly said he had to go and hang up. FML

#16277483
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23908) - you deserved it (43043)

On 05/21/2011 at 3:44am - love - by Cassie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, it was raining heavily. I saw a large puddle by the edge of the road near with a passing lady. Thinking it would be funny to splash her, I swerved to hit the puddle. The puddle was deeper than I thought. I lost control of the car, spun out, and hit two parked cars. FML

#16276951
509 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12278) - you deserved it (224978)

On 05/21/2011 at 2:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)



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