About netdemon : Apparently, I suck at life...
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Today, after a few weeks of smuggling a baby caterpillar into work every day just to make sure it ate and stayed alive long enough to turn into a butterfly, it finally did. Before it could fly free, a bird turned it into a snack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17846) - you deserved it (3930)
On 08/21/2012 at 12:56pm - animals - by goodbyefriend - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my girlfriend's phone was stolen. I have no idea who I've been sexting the entire afternoon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20821) - you deserved it (5847)
On 08/21/2012 at 11:29am - intimacy - by Sexting (man) - United States
Today, I was vomiting after an evening of drinking. My boyfriend was kind enough to hold my hair back while I spewed chunks into the toilet. Apparently he got bored though, because his hands made their way down to my boobs, which he started jiggling while singing Jingle Bells. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11006) - you deserved it (17367)
On 03/25/2012 at 2:04pm - health - by analeis (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30281) - you deserved it (8665)
On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, as I was walking my dog, two cute girls from my school were walking towards me on the sidewalk. I thought it would be appropriate to wave and give a smile. My dog thought it would be appropriate to viciously bark at and mount one of the girls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18633) - you deserved it (2497)
On 03/25/2012 at 7:59am - animals - by PicklesMcRaptor - United States (Florida)
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38130) - you deserved it (3219)
On 03/23/2012 at 1:55am - intimacy - by mrricecakes (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, while I was on the bus to work, a morbidly obese man sat down next to me. When my stop came and I stood up to get off, he just looked at me, said with a smirk, "good luck with that," and went back to reading his paper. I missed my stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22491) - you deserved it (1710)
On 03/22/2012 at 2:00pm - misc - by busfail - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I washed my sheets. They wouldn't dry quick enough, so I had to use my old Buzz Lightyear sheets. My new girlfriend took it upon herself to become a damn psychic and pay me a surprise visit right there and then. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14829) - you deserved it (2678)
On 03/17/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by babysheets (man) - Uruguay (Montevideo)
Today, I went to Hooters for lunch. My food was brought to me by a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19162) - you deserved it (10417)
On 03/16/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33327) - you deserved it (2415)
On 03/16/2012 at 6:38am - love - by elisabeth_pwnes - Norway (Vestfold)
Today, I had just finished up at work. I was standing on a street corner, waiting to cross to get to my car on the other side. I had three people pull up beside me and ask me how much I charged. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18290) - you deserved it (6789)
On 03/15/2012 at 4:44pm - love - by W45T3D_Y0UTH (woman) - Canada
Today, I called pizza hut to order a pizza. A voice recording was reading me their specials. The man had a horrible country accent so I began to make fun of it. Then I realized it was an actual person on the line. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4290) - you deserved it (29579)
On 03/15/2012 at 5:45am - misc - by muzikmaler91 - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was watching a kid at school walk like a gangster. My teacher was standing there, so I stood behind the kid and walked like him, laughing to myself, at which point my teacher took me to one side and told me the kid was handicapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6902) - you deserved it (38213)
On 03/14/2012 at 4:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure. It was my neighbor staring at me through the window with a total look of disgust. I moved in this weekend and hadn't yet introduced myself to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9846) - you deserved it (18545)
On 03/14/2012 at 3:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8072) - you deserved it (21555)
On 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm - misc - by zztopspinner (man) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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