About nerobluerose : Bow ties are cool
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nerobluerose's favorite FMLs
by boob sisters / 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML
by AdamwithanA / 10/10/2012 at 11:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
Today, there is an annual solar eclipse. As I was buying the last pair of solar glasses to watch the eclipse with, some jerk snatched them out of my hands and bolted off with them. I now have to make the decision between watching the eclipse and not going blind. FML
by VocalizedBoar / 05/20/2012 at 7:35pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
Today, while working at the zoo, I noticed a boy throwing candy into the warthog's exhibit. The fastest way to get there was to go through the exhibit, and speak to the kid from inside. I must have said three words when a lollipop hit me in the eye. Then the warthog peed on me. FML
by jigglypuff100 / 12/19/2011 at 7:56pm / United States / Work
Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
by DocBastard / 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm / United States / Kids
by no one / 05/21/2011 at 5:07am / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy
Today, my grandpa, a married high school teacher, got arrested for having an inappropriate relationship with a female student. Hearing the news, I called my grandma crying. Not only is he most likely going to jail, but in seven months I will have a new aunt who is eighteen years younger than me. FML
by newniece / 01/26/2010 at 7:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was waiting for a delivery between 9am-8pm. At 7:30 pm, I finally decided to have a 3 minute (desperately needed) shower. During which time the delivery man came. I ran down the street in a towel that barely covered me. He was driving away looking at me in the mirror laughing. FML
by calamityjosie / 09/18/2009 at 1:24pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Miscellaneous
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- Today, marks the second week straight without sex. Being a newlywed isn't as great as I thought. FML Today, my dad offered to take me and my sister to school because we just moved houses. On the way,… Today, one of my boyfriend's friends commented on how small my boobs are. My boyfriend defended me,…