nemzilla

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nemzilla

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 988
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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nemzilla's page activity

Visits<b>lmc94</b> - the 10/02/2011 at 12:48am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:43pm<b>allmidnighteyes</b> - the 02/04/2011 at 12:10pm<b></b> - the 01/24/2011 at 1:37am<b>Olay_JnAY</b> - the 12/23/2010 at 6:41pm<b>AwayWithTheWind</b> - the 12/18/2010 at 10:50pm<b>Sorrows</b> - the 10/25/2010 at 4:51pm<b>LilAfo</b> - the 10/25/2010 at 4:42pm<b>FFML_314</b> - the 10/25/2010 at 4:29pm<b>MisterAmazing</b> - the 10/21/2010 at 2:02pm<b>nerdsgetmehot</b> - the 09/28/2010 at 5:30pm<b>sugarnspicee</b> - the 08/27/2010 at 5:22pm<b>greyy_goooose</b> - the 08/23/2010 at 12:10am<b>That_Guy_Jake_JR</b> - the 08/22/2010 at 3:33pm<b>fuck_this_shit_5</b> - the 08/05/2010 at 8:34am

nemzilla's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

nemzilla's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML

by squishylog / 08/12/2011 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I accidentally pocket dialed my sister while I was masturbating. FML

by fmyhabit / 04/15/2011 at 1:34am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2011 at 11:14am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

by Now Single / 04/03/2011 at 4:06am / Reserved / Intimacy

Today, I attended a funeral. During the minute of silence, my phone went off. My ringtone is "It's good to be alive". FML

by JJMan217 / 04/03/2011 at 3:02am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met up with an old high school friend who I used to make fun of because he put so much effort into his studies. Turns out he makes my annual salary in a month. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2010 at 10:12am / United States / Money

Today, I was making out with this guy, and I ask him if he wants to take my bra off. He has some trouble getting it off and says, "This is strange, I do it for my sister all the time." FML

by fme / 12/08/2010 at 9:34am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my cat trying to mate with my favorite sweater. FML

by anon / 07/31/2010 at 1:04pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Intimacy

Today, I was rubbing my lips against my boyfriend's lips when I said "Your mustache tickles" in a sexy tone. His response was "So does yours." FML

by Username / 07/28/2010 at 7:20am / Intimacy

Today, I was woken up because the police were pounding on my door, and saying I am under arrest for stealing road signs. My friends went drinking last night and thought it would be funny to steal seven stop signs, four bus stop signs, and two children crossing signs then plant them on my front lawn. FML

by Busted / 07/26/2010 at 8:26am / South Africa / Miscellaneous

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. How? I went to a party with some friends and they each bet me $20 I couldn't lick my elbow. I guess I proved them wrong. FML

by one_BAMF / 07/25/2010 at 1:06am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I went to a party where I met an amazing guy. After having great conversation all night and what I thought was a serious connection, I leaned in to kiss him. He screamed, forcefully pushed my face away with his hand, and said he was gay. FML

by milkybear / 06/15/2010 at 3:11am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML

by OmniVore / 02/25/2010 at 4:42am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Love

Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML

by CrappyValentine / 02/14/2010 at 1:56pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Love

Today, I was shopping at Walmart when I ran into this stalker chick. She introduced me to her baby. He's named after me. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2010 at 12:48am / United States (California) / Love